I have published 507 ifthedevilhadmenopause.com posts.

I woke before dawn, the rain was beating down and I was contemplating what the hell to write about for #508.

It was a free day so I wanted to get down to business and then blow this pop stand. I felt like I was skipping school…no obligations, commitments, places to go, people to see.

Once I had done my due diligence and the skies cleared, I hit Central Park. I was shocked to see vendors selling copies of designer handbags at Bethesda Terrace adjacent to the Boathouse.

A huge crowd had gathered. I was aghast. Then the crowd parted and I saw the cameras and on duty policemen. They were shooting a movie…in retrospect it was too bad as some of the bags looked like the real thing.

That got me to thinking…

Having time on my hands always gets me into trouble, especially in Manhattan. I walk miles, window shop, bop into stores to look around and cool off from the insidious humidity…that’s when the I get buzzed.

I happen to be loitering on 5th Avenue and the giant 40% sale beckoned me from outside the Gap. Such a bargain…damage done.

I wandered into my new favorite store, Joe Fresh. More irresistible bargains. After all, it is the time of year for Sumer Sales.

I then took a break at the alluring sale at Saks Fifth Avenue. Oops, JCrew was just across the way.

Warning bells went off and I was inexplicably drawn by an undeniable force, too powerful to deny, to Bergdorf Goodman’s…don’t ask.

Exhausted from the retail high and the heavy load, I made it home, collapsed after walking close to 10 miles, tennis elbow developing from running the credit card way too often, hot and bothered after simultaneously taking the same route home as such fine eye candy as Jon Hamm, Sam Waterston and Michael Strahan.

It only added to the overall intoxicating shopping experience.

What the hell. I unwound, ordered a sushi lunch special from Tenzan, a bargain at $8.50, watched Wimbledon and made plans for tomorrow so that I would stay away from the stores and out of trouble.

I will worry about the unattractive reality just before July 28th when the Visa payment is due. Until then, I am one satisfied and stylin’ customer.