I have to confess something.

Last week we went to see, SpongeBob SquarePants on Broadway.

I never entertained the thought of seeing this particular Broadway show, but along with the NY Times rave review, I met quite a few intelligent, sophisticated theatergoers who loved the musical.

Entering the theater, I thought we made a wrong turn and was in Margaritaville.

The audience was surprisingly older than seven.

Nothing resonated.

I found the talent lacking, the prom sets cheesy, the story ridiculous.

I must admit that I have never seen the TV show, but being fairly intelligent, I figured I would be able to catch on quickly.

I went with the flow, but found myself becoming a Krusty Krab (SpongeBob insider reference).

I was amazed that the 2 couples in my row kept conferring during the performance.

Were they confused as to the plot and needed an interpreter?

SpongeBob has been on the air since May 1999 so the popularity is understandable.

My daughter never watched the show so unless I was stoned I would never have cause to tune in.

At intermission, I decided eating plankton or a Squidward Q. Tentacles sandwich was more desirable than sitting through another act of this drivel.

We re-surfaced from the underwater hell of Bikini Bottom and breathed the welcome congested air of Times Square.

Freedom.

SpongeBob is definitely not Spongeworthy.

*Photo: Nickelodeon