Kassi Club Leaves Me Cold…

New, tres trendy West Hollywood restaurant, Kassi Club was on my list.

I am a fan of Nick Mathers, the owner of Eveleigh and Elephante.

We stopped by for lunch recently.

The former site of Goldie’s on Third Street reflects a true Southern California interior.

The staff are dressed like employees of a spa or trendy mental institution.

The food at first glance appears to be modern Mediterranean.

In actuality, it tastes generally awful with the worst seasonings I have ever ingested.

The Pita, which is extra when ordered with dips, is the highlight. You get one piece per order ($3).

We selected the Taramasalata which tasted spoiled. The cod mixture was bland, the fish eggs were hideously bitter and off putting ($8).

We specifically asked if the asparagus were large…not a visually challenging question.

If they are large, yes please. If they are slender, no thank you.

Oh yes, the ill-informed server who had worked there one week and only knew how to recommend the “popular” menu items, declared.

In reality, the slender Grilled Asparagus with garlic chives, egg-lemon sauce and cured egg yolk were overcooked with a glaze that tasted similar to lemon meringue pie…awful ($12).

The Grilled Gem Salad which had flaccid white anchovy haphazardly deposited on the wilted lettuce with horrid pine nut dressing and an overabundance of bitter breadcrumbs was inedible ($14).

Salt & Pepper Calamari

The small portion of Salt and Pepper Calamari with a weird tzatziki dip was tasty, but toss in a few more pieces to make it a serving size, please sir ($14).

Haloumi Salad

The anorexic portion of excessively charred Haloumi was okay accompanied by a overly sweet tomato jam and a plethora of dreaded oregano ($14).

The atmosphere was redolent with self impressed, T.J. Maxx dressed Instagram ‘influencers’ who only posed, drank and took photos of their food never bothering to eat it.

Kardashian like strike a pose moments intruded on every inch of the restaurant, reminding me of the annoying cloud of gnats at a picnic.

Oh, not to be forgotten, the outside host stand which spells desperately exclusive…not!

It somehow works at Elephante, but not at this  feeble attempt at California cool.

The Kassi Club should eliminate the K and that describes my experience.

Kassi Club 8422 West Third Street West Hollywood, California. Open Monday-Friday 5:30pm-1am, Saturday 10am-1am, Sunday 10am-10pm. Valet and street parking.

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