Joan Rivers, Can We Talk…

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Joan Rivers  Photo: Reuters

Several months ago I came out and declared my love and admiration for Joan Rivers.

I adore her bluntness and her humorous ability for calling it like it is.

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Now she has been silenced. That broad even at 81 still had a lot of living to do…she possessed a clear mind and boundless energy.

Life has sucked lately. With our move every single damn thing that could go wrong has. There have been sleepless nights, drained bank accounts, frustration and a literal pain in the ass.

I was down and dirty and then I heard Joan Rivers passed away and I realized that in an instance life can change irrevocably.

I immediately thought about my 94 year-old mother. She is still full of energy, looks great and hasn’t resorted to sequin tops, elasticized pants or blue hair…she is still kickin’ it and I need to cherish every moment.

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I watched Joan every week on Fashion Police and was wide-eyed at some of the things she said, but I loved it.

The 2010 documentary on her life was riveting. I saw her on Broadway, perform stand up in small clubs in New York, Los Angeles, in Las Vegas on a grand stage and even tuned in once in a while when she was on QVC. She made jewelry funny. This was her biggest source of income, which helped her to rake in an estimated $50 million per year.

Joan Rivers & Johnny Carson  Photo: nydailynews.com
Joan Rivers & Johnny Carson Photo: nydailynews.com

As a woman I deplored the way Johnny Carson turned on her when she became the first female late night talk show host. She took it like a champ. When her husband committed suicide she did not crumble even though she was basically broke.

Instead, she put on her big girl pants and re-created herself, becoming very wealthy in the midst of her transformation. When she died yesterday she was worth over $150 million.

I have always related to the River adage…“I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.” Love her or hate her, Joan Rivers always made people laugh.

She was a legendary commedienne and broke down gender barriers. I would love to hear her irreverant take on what God was wearing when she arrived at the pearly gates decked out in fur, jewels and Valentino.

“Grow up” and enjoy some Riverisms:

“I hate thin people; ‘Oh, does the tampon make me look fat?'”

“You know you’re getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don’t know anyone who can see through it.”

“The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.”

“If you don’t want gays in the military, make the uniforms ugly.”

“I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewellery.”

“At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass!”

“I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I’d look like without plastic surgery.”

“People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”

“Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty.”

Joan & Melissa
Joan & Melissa

 

 

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