I’ll Be Missing You…

The day I have dreaded for way too long came to fruition last Friday.

We had Queen E. laid to rest in order for her to ascend to a higher throne.

If funerals can qualify as a celebration of life then my mom’s fit the bill.

It was graveside in a tranquil, dignified, serene Connecticut setting.

She was reunited with my dad in a morning ceremony that touched all who attended.

Our dear friend, Francesco, owner of the divine restaurant, Sociale, summed it up this way: “I witnessed a beautiful, simple, humble ceremony where God was so present and felt…with His rain right when it was supposed to rain; with His wonderful breeze when the official was chanting those beautiful notes; with His peaceful noise of fluttering leaves from the trees.”

Purple dominated the landscape with the rabbi wearing the color of royalty, Courtny accessorized in my mom’s Versace purple print scarf, David in a lavender pinstripe button down, and the ever loyal daughter donning Queen E.’s beloved antique bracelets and lavender jade ring.

I found it so dear that attendees also showed up in purple.

The service was meaningful, hit the right notes and just the perfect length.

I draped the casket with a lavender pashmina.

Purple hydrangea from my mom’s garden adorned the top.

The cantor sang one of her favorite tunes, Nat King Cole’s, Smile, and we all followed suit.

David and I spoke and then it was time to say goodbye.

I had an “After Party” at Dinosaur BBQ, one of her favorites and the brisket and ribs abounded.

Special family and friends who meant so much to my mother joined us.

The get together included grandson Josh and his adorably precious family, including his lovely mom, Mary, my second mother Ethel’s beautiful extended family….Ricky, Joy, Tenisha, Jackie, Brenda and Vera, Jim and Sarah who are way more than financial advisors, along with longtime neighbors.

Why eat bad food in a dour setting when Queen E.’s life was anything but that.

We toasted Queen E. with Prosecco, her adult beverage of choice and then we reminisced.

Dessert was custom-made lavender iced cupcakes with a pansy design on top, another favored flower.

We ate, laughed, cried and talked

The direct line to my mom has temporarily gone dead, but I know we will still find a way to communicate.

Long Live the Queen’s memory.


  1. Sounds more than perfect!!
    All my love to you…….got to believe that she is with you still and will continue to watch over ,love and even give a few orders from her new home……wonder if my Mom and your’s are giving dance lessons wherever?!

  2. What a beautiful send off for an extraordinary woman. How lucky you were to have her as your mama, your Queen E – and how fortunate she certainly was to have had you there.
    I’m grateful you included your friends and readers in this tribute.
    Cheers to you QE.

  3. Cathy Newman says:

    Sounds like a perfect farewell soirée, fit for a Queen.

    We were there in spirit!

    Sending much love…always.

  4. Janet Check says:

    What a sent off it must have been. Well deserving.
    Wish we could have been there in person…instead of in
    Spirit. You know how I felt about your Mom, I will miss her here at Hunters Run and miss her words of wisdom
    She so adored you, David and Courtny! She was always keeping me up to date on your whereabouts , so proud of you all.
    I hope you will keep in touch and keep returning to visit us here at Hunters Run
    💞. Janet and Mort

  5. It was a lovely send off. Queen E lived her life well and went out in style.

  6. Lorraine Kweskin says:

    Toby, so very sorry we couldn’t be there for the official send off. Your mother was one of my favorites! She always told you “the way it was” and that was fine with me! I loved her feistiness and honesty! So glad we got to catch up this evening and looking forward to having an in person visit!

    Lorraine and David

    • it was lovely speaking tonight. Thank you both for reaching out. I look forward to rendezvousing…you are right, talking and reminiscing does ease the pain.

  7. Hi Toby, I never met your mother but it seems like you are carrying along a few of her traits – she kept active, did things well, lived a full and happy life, got things in order and then decided to move on!
    Thinking of you and your family.

  8. francesco says:

    I love Her, she’s with me now every day !

  9. Patty Kweskin Zisman says:

    Lot’s of memories of your mom…she and my mom, Minerva, shared many years together. Both with Morris and Herb traveling, partys and lots of good laughs.
    I am so sorry for your loss, but the send off sounds amazing.

  10. Nancy Kramer Garfinkel says:

    Lots of purple memories- what a send off Toby!
    Called her a few years ago and sounded exactly the same-dynamic.
    The “kids” from the group that our parents were part of would love to get together.
    My condolences to you and your family.
    Love, Nancy Kramer Garfinkel

  11. And that would include “in-laws” as well! David and I would be happy to host!

  12. Lorraine Kweskin says:

    I’m involved with a major project happening on July 29th! Let’s plan on September! Lots of holidays then but we’ll figure it out!

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