Haunted House…

I am a pragmatic person.

I can rationalize just about anything.

Death, the NY Yankees and NY Giants loses, why Agent Orange is president are challenging conundrums.

It’s no secret that my mom, Queen E., died recently.

It has been an arduous time.

She is always on my mind…the loss ebbs and flows.

For the past few months, I dream nightly about the family homestead.

Most of my childhood memories took place there.

I just cannot figure out why the house is haunting me.

Is my mom speaking to me?

Weird, she is never present in the dreams.

I always seem to be roaming the hallways or driving up and knocking on the door, asking to come in.

Queen E. was always a very frank, confrontational person.

If it was on her mind, it was soon on her lips.

Speak to me, mom so I can stop dreaming about the damn house.

A good nights sleep and a break from the Haunted House would be very much appreciated.

4 Comments

  1. Anna Holbrook says:

    Maybe you haven’t let it go. Actually let it go.
    Do you need to be there again, physically to ‘talk’ to the house? Did you ever say a real thank you and goodbye to ‘the place’?

    I think I’ve mentioned this acting exercise – sense memory of a place.
    It’s really just wonderful. Perhaps try this when you make the time to have at least 30 min to yourself – with no interruptions. And, this will sound a little kwazy – but, it can truly be cleansing and instructive.
    In a quiet place, you sit on the floor, back to the entry/room/place. Start very slowly, eyes closed. Simply find the place, and begin to see it. Breathe. Begin to sense what you’re sitting on (if it was a beach: the sand, the heat from it etc, if a room, the floorboards/carpet —- then you start to explore it with your hands, VERY slowly. your hand/hands hover above the floor/sand and let the sensation of that particular material enter you. Let the sand trickle through your fingers/feel the smoothness/roughness/grooves of the floor boards, see their color. Go through all the senses, allowing each one to ‘enter’ you – sight, sound, smell, even taste. Breathe. Then, eyes still closed you turn to face the room. Don’t step in yet, stand in the entrance and simply take it in. There is NO wrong or right to any of this – only that there is NO rushing. See the room, look to your right, left, and around – see the detail of the wall paper, the carpet, the dresser – knobs on the dresser, allow your hands to run over the surface of the dresser, shade of the lamp. Detail. Light fixture, ceiling, any stains, old scents – let it all simply enter you. Then you gradually move into the room and make your way around it, dropping down to your knees if needed to feel the carpet/leg of a chair/dresser foot etc – again, no rushing. If anything comes up that is ‘unhealthy’ negative – move away from that unless you feel comfortable exploring. But you are in charge. Move right on if you can’t go there emotionally. Keep breathing, deeply. Letting go of any tension with each exhale. After you feel immersed in this space – allow yourself to just stop – now look around at the ‘whole’, (should take at least 20-30min) take it in. You can talk to it, say anything that comes to mind, talk to your mama, ask for any forgiveness if that’s what comes up – perhaps about selling this ‘old friend’ and moving on, or laughing at a memory there, embracing it, the place, the memory, your mother. Then, when you feel, hmmmm, settled, grounded, exhausted – whatever. Give the house the freedom to move on. Almost an apology to it/the space/this womb that has been so good to you and your family – allow it to go now – like tossing a dove into the air to fly away.

    If you end up crying at any point – just make sure you keep breathing through the tears – and let those babies flow:) As Martha Stewart would say – ‘It’s a good thing.’

    Now, Toby, this may be waaaaay too far out for you. So, forgive me and just DUMP! But, I assure you, it can be so rich – and instructive. And, the end result should feel calming and healthy.

    Any questions, just write or call.
    I want you to be able to De-Haunt!!!! Surely that’s real thing!

    All the best,
    Anna:)

  2. that should read ‘with your BACK to the entry/room/place.’

  3. Beth Martin says:

    I’m sorry you’re being haunted. I like what Anna wrote. I would simplify it and Jason you’re walking or spinning ask your mom for help. Maybe there’s something you’re missing, some message your mom or the universe wants you to get I believe it will be revealed if you Bri g patience and willingness to receive the message. Good luck! Sending you hugs.

  4. All of these replies are very interesting – even for those of us who do not have these particular haunting s
    inhabiting us.
    And then there is always ‘Reading With Abigail’
    Sending you wishes for sweet dreams.
    Paula

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