Over the past month I have had a plethora of doctors appointments.

Its all about annual check ups, renovation and restoration.

In Los Angeles many doctors thankfully take insurance.

In New York City you are lucky if they offer you an appointment.

You then pay hundreds of dollars for the privilege of sitting and waiting in their sterile, uninviting waiting rooms.

This brings me to my current bitchfest.

Why is my time not valuable?

If regular peeps did not morph into patients these irresponsible time managers would not have a livelihood.

I always attempt to book the first appointment of the day.

How is it possible that doctors are late to their first appointment?

Traffic…I’m on time.

Marital issues, kids drop off, wardrobe malfunctions, emergency bathroom stop…I have the same issues yet I’m on time.

I want to unionize patients.

Our time is valuable.

I propose for every 10 minutes patients have to sit on ugly, uncomfortable chairs, read old magazines, watch reruns of The Chew and stare at dismal interior design, $50 should be deduced off the bill, nonnegotiable.

If interested in forming a union of responsible time dedicated people, contact me at: patientswithoutpatience@gmail.com.

While waiting at your next doctor’s appointment take a listen to Chicago’s, Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?