No Diddle Zone…

sex_at_work_romance_officeApologies in advance for the strident tone, but this is a subject that really touches a nerve.

I brooch the topic because I am frequently asked about succeeding in male dominated fields.

Cardinal rule for all women out there…don’t poop where you eat…interpretation…if you are a professional female, never sleep with the boss, or associates…not a new concept, but one that ALL members of the female population should honor, especially if you want to move up the corporate ladder without labels.

As Publicity Empress at Chrysalis Records I always told my staff never be seduced by talent…no sex or even kiss with  tongue…if temptation consumes you, bye bye…you are outta here.

There is still a hypocritical double standard in the workplace. If a woman gets caught with her pants down, she is berated, labeled and criticized. It’s fine for men to play the field, but God forbid women diddle with the delicious. Men are studs and women are whores for the same behavior.

Keep it above board. There are temptations, but the workplace should be a no trespassing zone. In my personal experience of working with celebrities, it can be intoxicating when a star that millions adore comes on to you, telling you that he wants you and only you. Don’t drink the Kool-aid. Be flattered, but don’t succumb.

This is not a lecture or a morality post. It is the damn truth because you will not endure.


The glass ceiling is still very much in place and and you do not want to be crushed by it. Once you eat the forbidden fruit, the talent, boss or co-worker does not revere you anymore. You become water cooler fodder.

Unless you are Sharon Osbourne and your father (Don Arden) owns the record label that your future husband, Ozzy Osbourne, records for, resist!

Have fun, but always be professional. There are other catches out there. Hooking a musician, athlete, actor or executive does not insure a committed relationship…you are definitely one of many. In the subculture of life on the road, anything goes so don’t go there.

My experiences often included returning to my hotel room after a concert to find talent in my bed. Who doesn’t want talent in the bedroom…technique not celebrity. Housekeepers were willing conspirators because they could not resist the rockers advances so they proffered the keys to the room.

I was wooed with flowers, gifts, offers of trips and intoxicating words, but I had a job to do and that wasn’t on the agenda.

SO, find a nice lawyer, doctor, techie or all-round decent guy…just don’t mix business with pleasure…rock on…


One Comment

  1. Thanks for talking/writing about it, Toby. Very true!

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