Color Me Almost Done…

Color me optimistic.

The painters are here….the painters are here!

After six long months, painting signals the final stages of this hellish renovation.

In two weeks I may have the keys back to my new home. No intruders every morning at 8am six days a week.

I will actually see what my new floor looks like. We will have a ceremonial Ram Board bonfire. Death to the Ram.

Dorian Gray will come out of the closet. I will have mirrors hanging about and witness my own reflection.

The very last phase is decorating, but I can have cleanliness and order and no intruders to accomplish that final feat.

I have learned a great deal about grout, granite, tile spacing, faucets, hardware, paint and glass. I have become intimate with Snyder Diamond and shop there way more than J Crew and Neiman Marcus.

I detest contractors even more than the Dallas Cowboys. Protect the environment and save wildlife from extinction. Exterminate the contractors.

Yesterday, after admitting five painters at 8am, I readied myself for my blood work evaluation at the gynecologist.

The house is completely torn apart. My closet is home to every errant object leaving me with one pair of Lululemons to wear for the next few days, one top and two different socks. I am a fashion don’t.

My bathroom is stripped to the bone and my hair looks like I tangled with an electrical outlet and lost the battle, but diamonds are a girls best friend and my thank you studs from dealing with rock bands provide me with a shred of dignity and style.

Off I go to await news as to whether my blood work indicates that I have done a reverse Bruce Jenner…my hormone levels may put me in the male zone.

On the plus side, I can now attempt to make my fantasy of being a tight end for the NY Giants come true.

Results indicate that I am a waning women, but still qualify for push up bra, dresses and lipstick..

Homeward bound to meet the glass man.

On the way I receive a hysterical call that the paint is looking jungle green instead of gray in the bedroom. I thought I had completed the mission after hiring color expert, Amy of AEP Designs. We spent hours sorting through color wheels. Amy colored me happy.

Now I must rush back to once again do battle with Benjamin Moore, but I am hopeful that Amy will rush in and save the day, but for now…



  1. LOL. I hope the paint color works out- because you as you know, ‘it’s not easy being green’.

  2. It is most likely too late for this, but it is good to buy a sample size of the paints and paint an area of each wall in each room. The color will look different on each wall and it will also change throughout the day. Good luck!

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