Short bitch since I am on a 7am flight to New York.

I am now in a back brace or as I prefer to call it, a proactive Spanx.

I went for a massage and was gifted with a compressed sacrum.

My waistline does looks terrific.

I assume I will have to remove the apparatus before I hit security or TSA will think I am packing.

Second, rapid fire bitch… Moving forward, I am totally team Amazon.

Yesterday, I needed to apply a coveted Bed Bath and Beyond coupon to an online order.

There were 27 people in line and two people at Customer Service.

It took 48 minutes to earn a $23.00 credit…not sure it was worth it.

We gathered up some necessities.

At check out, there was only one person ahead of me, purchasing a mere 7 items.

Chenille took 13 minutes to complete the transaction.

I am all for mature employment, but Chenille could not stand on her own and had difficulty performing menial tasks.

She did sport a massive application of gold eyeshadow and 2 pairs of false eyelashes.

The conundrum was…how was Chenille able to apply her intoxicating make up, but was completely unable to bag our purchases or use the bar code gun?

You go Chenille…perhaps a store greeter would better serve your talents…you could bat those impressive eyelashes at incoming customers.

This morning I depart for New York City and I look forward to the speed and efficiency of the peeps on the east coast.

Chenelle, you will forever be in my rear view mirror.