Hello, my names is Toby and I am a Foodie.

I am addicted to new restaurants.

I must make another confession.

I bought into the Trois Familia hype.

Ludo Lefebvre, Jon Shook and Vinny Dotolo, who also own Trois Mec, Petit Trois and Jon & Vinny’s, are at the helm.

I really enjoyed Trois Petit and Jon & Vinny’s which I reviewed. The mothership, Trois Mec, not so much.

Logistically, I was determined to find a day and time to visit Trois Familia where I would not have to wait in a strip mall for a lengthy period of time.

Rumor has it that there are very long waits at Trois Familia.

Originally, I was heading there early on a Saturday morning as Trois Familia only serves brunch, but I was ill and had to delay plans.

President’s Day seemed a perfect opportunity and I had a built in eating posse consisting of my daughter and husband.

Driving to Silver Lake is analogous to a road trip.

9:00 am on a holiday and the California freeways were still jammed.

We arrived 40 minutes later and 20 people were already on the list ahead of us.

We hugged the building to avoid the searing winter heat and waited for the doors to open at 10am and our name to be announced…kind of like winning the food lottery.

It was an eclectic gathering of diners.

We were in the first group to be admitted to the compact, colorful 32-seater.

We took our designated spots at a communal picnic table which appeared smaller than adult size.

Fortunately, we were seated with three affable foodies…a delightful couple visiting from Portland and a charming local.

Their food arrived before ours so we were able to peruse the items and garner feedback.

Opinions were less than spectacular, especially the heat factor.

We had difficulty finding items that resonated, but we dove in head first and selected several of the French/Mexican influenced items.

First to arrive was Hash Chilaquiles (fried tortillas sautéed in chile sauce) which is basically a cafeteria style square hash brown with a fried egg and salsa which could curl the toes of a fire eater ($10.25).

We added avocado to help quell the fire for a mere $3. We found it basically inedible as did our fellow picnickers.

Next up on the hype parade was the Double Decker Potato Tacos ($12.50). The best I can say was the flour tortilla was crispy and the double dip of potatoes is  suitable for marathon carb loading.

The tacos included shredded marinated carrots, creme fraiche mixed into the mashed potatoes and jack cheese.

The best dish was the Anson-Mills Grits with mole butter, mushrooms, creme fraiche, scallions and pepitos.

We added an egg for $4. I could have probably purchased the entire chicken for the sum total of $16.25.

We considered the Poached Omelette Sandwich with caramelized onions, American cheese, jambon de Paris and truffle salt ($14.50). When it arrived at the adjacent picnic table, it looked like the baked banana concoction I made when I was 5…unappealing.

Beverages included Stumptown Stubbies. Translation…bottled ice coffee at $6.00 a piece.

Not satiated, we try for more normalcy with Nueske’s Bacon with maple-chili glaze ($5.95). Too much sweetness which lead to a limp pork dick.

Purely informative, we checked out our picnic tablemates Churro French Toast with salt and straw vanilla ice cream and Mexican chocolate ($9.75).

The comments were not encouraging.

Okay. The best part of the meal was being surrounded by brightly colored walls.

What a scam. If a Mexican marries a Frenchie I hope they have more exciting offspring than the creations at Trois Familia.

The portions were minuscule and uninspired. The exorbitant check arrived with service included.

Actually, the server was lovely…no problem with her, but Trois Familia should be renamed, Dysfunctional Familia.

I was curious about the birthday cake on the menu, but I won’t ever celebrate my birthday at Trois Familia.

I am not that old and senile for a return trip unless I have ‘SCHMUCK’ written across my forehead in hot sauce.

Trois Familia 3510 Sunset Boulevard Silver Lake. Open daily 10am-3pm. Street and strip mall parking available. No reservations. First come, first served.