Motivated by the absurd, I am presently job surfing opportunities in the Dumpster’s Administration.

I just read that Agent Orange’s personal pilot, John Dunkin, is at the top of the list to head up the Federal Aviation Association and its budget of more than $16 billion.

He has been flying the arrogant Emperor Fat Ass to his sexual encounters since 1989.

During the 2016 election campaign, Dunkin flew Trump’s Boeing 757 to events across the country and coordinated the purportedly awesomely challenging travel schedule.

Come on peeps, With that super extensive resume, Dunkin is like soooo qualified for FAA chief.

Another key White House position, Chief Usher, was filled by Timothy Harleth, the director of rooms at the Trump International Hotel in Washington, D.C.

In the past, White House chief ushers have largely been public servants, military personnel or career staff members who worked their way up the usher ladder over several administrations.

His prior experience just screams Chief Usher.

We are all aware of the qualifications that Ivanka and Jared bring to the special senior advisor positions.

Come on. Jared’s resume includes his acceptance to Penn which his father coincidentally contributed $1 million during Jared’s less than stellar senior year in high school, owning a newspaper and working in his family real estate business.

Jared lacks high level security clearance, but he is negotiating Mid-East peace.

In 50 years, no one before him has attained that…not even President Carter, Egyptian President Anwar Sadat and Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin or President Clinton, Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak and PLO Chairman Yasser Arafat.

Here’s my professional in.

I gave tremendous help to trump’s butler for years at the U.S. Open, including donating our alcohol to NYC society guests since trump was too cheap to purchase his own, copying daily programs due to frugality, and providing invaluable scheduling and player info and updates.

I hear there is an opening for Director of Special Events at the White House, which I am overly qualified for.

I just composed a fawning letter to Agent Orange, his captive wife, Melania and her chain migration parents, stating my deep, unabiding love for the family, pledging my allegiance to Russia and the NRA as well as including an impressive donation to trump 2020.

I’ll keep you posted on my career advancement.

I am not worried about any vetting process.

My ties to Wendi Deng Murdoch (I had such a super fun time with Ivanka and Jared on her yacht last summer) and the fact that I dated Paul Manafort in college should not be a hindrance.

I’d be lying (should be an asset in this WH) if I didn’t admit to really wanting the job.

It should be way more interesting and eviscerating than when I lived with Mrs. Robert F. Kennedy.