Which Coast Kicks The Others Butt?

A Tale of Two Cities.

Annoyances are regional.

Living and working in two different cities I am exasperated by different issues.

I’m heading to NYC this week so the yin and yang of bicoastal living is front and center.

Buckle your seatbelt, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

In Los Angeles, I spend a lot of time in the car.

No one uses a blinker.

Sudden stops and turns are the norm so you have to keep a reasonable distance or be clairvoyant.

Everyone texts and reads emails with one hand on the steering wheel and the other poised in a permanent selfie position.

On NYC sidewalks, peeps walk on your heels and a sudden stop can cause a rear end collision which is very disagreeable in summer months.

I prefer a hot, sweaty body on top of me in the bedroom not on asphalt.

People rarely walk in LA so that is not an issue.

Case in point, I was walking through the flats of Bev Hills with a friend, both of us dressed in lovely ensembles.

We had just finished dinner at a restaurant on Beverly Drive and wanted to stroll after the meal.

A BH cop stopped us and asked what we were doing walking in a residential area.

Under the glaring moonlight of the interrogation the mustachioed patrolmen advised us to turn around and heard back to the commercial district.

NYC is all about walking, cabbing or taking a Lyft to a restaurant…no one cares where you walk as long as you stay in your lane.

In LA everyone, but me, valet parks even if there is a spot 20 yards from the entrance.

I think Los Angelenos want to feel important and serviced.

New Yorkers will happily admit to eating carbs.

In LA, you would confess to an extramarital affair before they would admit to eating carbs.

New Yorkers drive hours to get to the beach and spend fortunes to rent or buy homes in the Hamptons.

Southern Californian Caucasians rarely are seen on the beautiful, expansive California beaches.

We are usually the only caucasians present.

Manhattan residents never engage in retail therapy on Madison and 5th Avenues during the summer.

Upscale Los Angeles department stores and restaurants are packed on the weekends

Juice bars and acai outposts are as common in LA as Lululemon outfits.

NYC is starting to catch up, but this has been the norm in LaLaLand for decades.

Of course, the weather in LA is perfection and every day is a great hair day.

NYC has snow and humidity, but there are 4 seasons.

New York is all about egg on a roll and Halal trucks.

LA food trucks are much more upscale.

Goyard is the carrier of choice in NY.

A NYC woman has to have a fancy bag to transport her running shoes.

It is now starting to trend in LA, but Goyard has been the city go to tote for years and years.

Takeout is a must in NYC.

In LA you can starve to death at home.

When out and about at coffeehouses or restaurants in NYC, 90% of the time you strike up a conversation with an interesting person.

Los Angelenos are disinterested unless you are a blonde “model.”

Outdoor activities are your cultural stimulants.

NYC weekends are jam packed with theatre and museums excursions.

I am fortunate to be able to be happily pissed off by fabulous foibles in these two fascinating cities.

Let the geographical wars begin.

 

*The Odyssey Online