I should consider moving to Malibu.

Every time I arrive, I am unable to depart.

Both cars have ceased to ignite once they park their mechanical butts on Cross Creek Road.

Friday, I had an appointment in Malibu and then needed to be home by 2.

Before I detail my saga, I must impart the best conversation I overheard at the hair salon.

A woman called, asking to be booked with Sally Hershberger.

Why?

She wanted the Meg Ryan hairdo which Sally created.

The manager said that she was not available, but a stylist who was very experienced would fit the bill.

The client demanded to know his age because ”she wanted an authentic stylist who had been alive during the Meg Ryan era!”

Only in LaLaLand, folks.

Well, my 2pm appointment didn’t happen and for the third time in so many weeks I had phone sex with AAA trying to seductively get them to tow me in less than 90 minutes.

I guess you can be stranded in worse places.

I ate my to go lunch from Cafe Habana in the park and I explored the new Whole Foods and Blue Bottle complex that opened a few weeks ago.

I reticently strolled through the new Fred Segal disappointed because until recently it was the Malibu Cinema.

I dropped a few bucks on new fangled skin care products at Sephora and watched a horde of famous people devour their green smoothies while disinterestingly observing the nannies interact with their children.

My husband rode up on his Indian motorcycle to see if he could save me from my fate, but, alas, he could only hold my hand and share a cold brew coffee with me.

A shout out to the lovely barista at Blue Bottle who took pity on our situation and comped the coffee for the stranded motorists.

I must say that my adorable Vintage VW convertible attracted beaucoup attention.

So many men offered to help diagnose and ultimately push her.

That yellow ray of sunshine is definitely crushworthy and the guys were all adorable Moon Doggie types…where is my gorgeous daughter when I need her?!

Hours later I made it home.

Thanks to Sephora, my skin looks shiny and bright, but my Baby Bug is still in the hospital.

I think I will walk to Malibu next time.

I will probably breakdown and get carted off, but it is a splendid locale to succumb.