22 hours.

Saturday was a long day.

Up at 3am EDST. On my way to the airport by 4am with takeoff scheduled for 6:40am.

The pilot informed us that it was a great day to fly until reaching Kansas.

It must have been backwards day because we rocked ‘n rolled until the Midwest and then we calmed down.

Watched more horrible movies and then cool, humidless air embraced us at LAX.

Little did I know that Budget rent a car would take almost as long as the flight.

The bus dropped us off at the blundering Budget office and I thought Taylor Swift was doing a surprise pop up concert because the line wrapped around the building.

90 minutes later after aggressive up selling and being told endlessly that only I could drive the car because Big Brother will follow us and if another human attempts to get behind the wheel there will be an additional $18 daily charge for a second driver, we departed the building only to be delayed by a woman at the Exit booth who was educationally gifted with an attitude as big as trump’s unathletic ass.

Another 15 minutes of unnecessary incarceration and we finally were granted our freedom from the Budget holding cell.

Biden had landed in Los Angeles right before our arrival and it took creative driving and numerous shortcuts to arrive home.

We stopped for breakfast which had a 30 minute wait.

Satiated we made it home and LA living commenced.

Sushi was our dinner craving and we waited the 2 hours for traffic to dissipate as George Clooney, Julia Roberts, Jimmy Kimmel, Barack Obama and the First Family were all headed to a fundraiser in downtown Los Angeles which did not preclude major road closures on the westside of the city.

59 minutes to travel 9.2 miles. Finally, 2 hours later travel time was down to 23 minutes so off we went.

The sushi was deliriously delicious and we were warmly welcomed back as our patronage spans more than 40 years.

A quick drive by at Trader Joe’s and we were home by 10:00pm PDST.

Carpe Diem, baby.