Wow, a freak out in a bakery. Just when I thought I had seen everything. What could make a sane person flip out surrounded by sugary confections on a Friday night?

Two possibilities come to mind…the curse of a woman alone on a Friday night or a woman who is having an internal struggle with guilt just about being in a bakery.

Allow me to set the stage. Prior to visiting the luscious bakery, Sweet Lady Jane, David and I were famished as we were busy and did not have time to eat lunch.

He was all about the sushi as our favorite place was closed for Christmas vacation when we re-entered LaLa land and then poor David flew off to CES in Las Vegas for a week.

We did the unthinkable and went early bird special time zone. We consumed massive amounts of sushi at 6 pm…maybe the grey panthers are on to something.

We were immediately seated at the sushi bar. Replete, we departed at 7:30 and overheard the host saying that the wait was 45 minutes.

No, I would still hold a sushi vigil as the early dinner date cannot become a habit. I start perspiring just thinking about the emotional ramifications. Plus, there is no early bird special menu. If the uni was half price, I would buck up and join the senior ranks.

We were satiated, but still desired a little something sweet so my thoughtful husband came up with the ingenious idea of Sweet Lady Jane, where they serve up amazing breads, pies, cookies and massive, unbelievably delicious cakes.

I love their wedding cake tastings. In the past, I made David go with me and I told them I was a former nun and had met David and gave up the church.

I had just finished reading Pat Conroy’s book, South of Broad, and was curious to see if anyone would believe that I could have been a woman of the cloth (other than cashmere and silk).

The cake tasting was exceptional, but later informed them I was having second thoughts of giving myself up to someone else on a regular basis…God was a lot less demanding, if you know what I mean.

So, it’s Friday night and I am shocked that Sweet Lady Jane is open after 7 pm located in Santa Monica, on the border of Brentwood, a toney, sleepy little hamlet in West Los Angeles.

No sooner had  we entered and selected a slice of the decadent triple berry shortcake, the Angry Bird, Take Two, flies into the bakery with her pitch fork raised, ready to pierce any and all unsuspecting victims…not to be rendered clueless, please reference my previous post, Angry Bird, at: https://ifthedevilhadmenopause.com/angry-bird/

The young man  immediately sets her off by saying, “Can I help you?”

The audacity. She then flies into a rage after she learns that the items in the case are not all discounted.. Apparently, after 8 pm, certain items such as bread and muffins are half price.

“I was in the other night and I was told everything was half price.” With fire spewing from her collagen bloated lips, she lisped, “Bring me the manager.”

The victim scurries to the back, whimpering, “Help, the witched witch of the west is challenging me.”

Out glides a tall, thin unprepossessing manager who calmly states, “He is correct. Only bread and muffins are discounted.”

She simmers as her audience awaits fire and brimstone. Unfortunately, her fangs and claws recede and, to our surprise, she orders an entire cake ($36)…so, the devil did possess the funds and she was just trying to see if she could get it wholesale.

She flew out of the bakery and settled her pitch fork and tail into a luxury vehicle and disappeared into the night.

The hellish episode happened too quickly. I was dying to ask her if her sister had taken a Virgin America flight to New York City in November.

Sweet Lady Jane 1631 Montana Avenue, Santa Monica, California.

Sweet Lady Jane 8360 Melrose Avenue, Los Angeles.

www.sweetladyjane.com