I think I need to feminize my name.

Most unfamiliar entities assume I am male.

I have been told I have a potent pair of balls, but that is a separate issue.

Every day I find penis extension, how to stay hard and member growth emails in my in box.

I also receive a plethora of dating emails, heart health tricks, harder longer suggestions, Medical Alert system ads in case I fall down and can’t get up, senior walk in bathtubs, absorbent underwear options, funeral insurance, hearing aids, dizziness solutions and how to solve male pattern baldness.

At this point I would rather hear from the IRS.

I wake up to images of old age, erectile dysfunction, wet pants, tummy flab and cognitive decline.

I think I’ll start sending daily positive affirmation emails to my friends to deflect all the physical and medical negativity as soon as I legally  change my name to YouGoGirl.