Strike up the band.

Super Bowl opponents are set.

I am facing my own super sized challenge, running up against a tough team of house hunters.

I was supposed to have a home field advantage, but no.

I just put my family home on the market.

The remodeled, updated house is a lovely, 100 year-old charmer.

Whomever makes the purchase is buying into a real winner.

So the first Open House was yesterday.

Barbie & Ken showed up, representing the worst of the millennials.

They browsed and left.

My agent just received an email vilifying the house, denegrating everything, including the marble remodel, omitting even a single mention of one positive feature and ending with…”if the seller is interested in reducing the house $175,000” then perhaps they would bring their fake Gucci’s to the table.

Literally, a hoarders dilapidated house just sold in the neighborhood, half the square footage, close to the asking price these contemptible, emotionally devoid asswipes are requesting for my house.

Hey, I am all for the art of negotiation, but don’t do it with a venomous, self-righteous tone.

A recipe for success requires a dash of sugar added into the mix.

This was not a tactic for success.

Barbie & Ken can just stay put in their dated, plastic, personality free dream house.