Trump Ecstasy Pills Confiscated

I wish I had known about the 5,000 carrot-coloured ecstasy tablets in the shape of Donald Trump’s head seized by German police over the weekend.

I was up at 3am for a 6am flight and could have used a  lift.

Anyway, my natural high was fueled by the complete lack of traffic.

I have never driven in Los Angeles and  witnessed a deserted byway.

Joy, only four travelers ahead of us in the TSA line.

A middle-aged women in front of me handed over her boarding pass and was surprised when the TSA agent asked for her ID…first plane trip?!

Surprising, since she is TSA approved…go figure.

No restaurants open until 5am. We waited by the Rock ‘n Roll Grill.

The gate came up and Destroyer started blasting front the speakers.

Good Morning, America.

We headed to the gate and met up with some menopausal gate agents, but David charmed them.

We boarded and took our Select seats in row 6, the first row in coach.

A frantic woman boarded and asked what row we were in…the row number was at eye level, but I graciously answered, “6.”

She turned around and headed for the front as she was in row 18.

Quickly, she returned and asked how it was possible that I was in row 6 when she paid extra for an exit row.

Again, even thought I was caffeine free, I explained that an aircraft has several exit rows and if she walked BACK 12 rows, I bet she would discover row 18.

I settled in and realized that my phone was in my bag in the overhead compartment.

I needed to text my daughter.

I took my bag down and be still my heart…no phone.

Panic set in and David calmly asked to leave the plane, but, no, a gate agent had to escort him off.

After 10 minutes, a litany of excuses and 5 minutes before departure, she escorted him off the plane.

Being an obese woman, she told David she couldn’t run with him to the restaurant.

He ran and, thankfully, the manager at the restaurant had my phone.

Halllelujah.

In the interim, on the plane, a stuffy older airline agent was screaming after my husband as he dodged the plane with the agent.

He told me that we were going to be asked to vacate the plane because David disobeyed protocol.

I explained that we were in step with the Jetblue laws and my husband was accompanied by the gate agent.

He turned red and fled.

We hadn’t even taken off and I was already experiencing a very bumpy ride.

A footnote to the trip…during the flight the Trump party pills could have elevated my mood and kept me happy during the 3 hours of turbulence.