Talk about uncomfortable conversations.

I had to have an adult heart to heart with my mother.

The sex talk was way easier than the funeral discussion.

Some realities are better avoided, but I needed Information.

My mom is 97 years-old and for the first time in decades she was not spending half the year in Connecticut.

Recently, I woke up in a sweat, concerned about future travel arrangements for Queen E.

What to do if my mom succumbs in Florida?

Do I ring up Jetblue and book her passage?

I reluctantly asked that awkward question in our ‘Come To Jesus’ moment.

She paused and said, “Let’s call Jerry?!”

WTF.

Who is Jerry…a male companion she has been hiding?

I learned that Jerry is the eternal cruise director from the Connecticut funeral home my mom has delegated to be her official trip to paradise tour agent.

My mom threw down the gauntlet…call Jerry, immediately.

She hounded me until I did.

Jerry is very cordial and upbeat.

I don’t know how that is possible in his line of work, but kudos to the man.

Coincidentally, Mr. J. organized my dad’s send off so he is intimate with my family DNA.

Jerry is one stop shopping.

If I prepay for the excursion in advance, prices never increase even though they go up every January, there is no pressure to make last minute decisions and the great news…since my mother is a Connecticut resident, her one way passage from Florida to home is free.

My investigation brought me back to my mom and I led with the money saving news.

She was absolutely delighted.

This is all too much for me.

We discussed more plans and she enumerated her demands.

Mommy dearest asked me about venues and I made some suggestions.

She was very disappointed with the restaurants I mentioned and insisted that I give it more thought.

I had foolishly mentioned her favorite pizza and salad restaurant which she found inappropriate.

Yes, Queen E, I will make this an affair to remember.

The big negative is my mom will, unfortunately, be absent from the after-party and we won’t be able to rehash the celebration.

Knowing my mother, she will find a way to move heaven and hell to gather the total scoop.

Enough…let’s get back to living.