The Plight of Upper West Siders…

“I’ll have Edward pick you up.”

And poor suffering Jessica turned to her anorexic friend and lamented, “Jesus, Connie has a driver now. I want that life. What have I done wrong not to deserve a driver.”

After that heartbreaking news I headed into spin class.

While adjusting my bike seat the slender spin instructor with the cascading blonde highlighted hair said, “It’s only 9:25 in the morning and I already have had such a day. My nanny who is an Instagram influencer and gorgeous just emailed me and said she can’t take the stress of watching my 13 and 7 year-old anymore.”

Mired in first world problems, the tragedy continued…her ‘renowned’ composer husband had a leak in the ceiling of his custom home studio.

Now she had another huge issue to deal with.

The problems these women have to face on a daily basis are harrowing, appearing insurmountable.

I feel their pain, but I was actually happy that I woke up this morning to live another day.

To further add to my personal joy, my doggies both had lovely, solid poops and I saw The Backstreet Boys on my street.

I was euphoric and then it all came crashing down when I witnessed the plight of my fellow gym members.

Life can be such a bitch and shallow me, I thought that immigrants on the southern border, Syrian and Sudanese refugees, children suffering from malnutrition and cancer all had it rough.

These treacherous champagne problems just burst my bubble and violently slapped me in the face with an ice cold lavender scented Frette refrigerated towel.

 

***No creative license taken in the retelling…can’t make this shit up!

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