Spinning Out Of Control…

2012-07-25CAD221FeelBurn

Time to spin a tale of woe and frustration.

I live for my family, the NY Giants, NY Yankees, my dog and I look forward to spinning 5 days each week.

It is getting to be a huge hassle and it may be time to bid adieu to the Establishment of Entitlement…translation, Equinox.

Spinners at Equinox can book a bike 26 hours in advance. I am dedicated so I set an early alarm and hold steady the last 60 seconds, watching my app countdown to zero. I quickly claim bike #14. I was a constant on bike #1 and then they redesigned the room.

The powers that be shut down the bike room for 4 days recently and created a spin disaster…911, call in the Spin Doctor.

Many of the bikes did not work when the room reopened…that would be at the top of the To Do list if I was revamping a spin room…test the bikes before the Grand Opening.

The ingenious ones eliminated some of the ceiling fans and cut back on the AC. Inauguration day and I felt as if they they had replicated a swamp in southern Florida in August. A pregnant woman was perched next to me and I was concerned about premature labor.

Blackout blinds were installed which make you feel as if you are spinning inside a mausoleum. No more mirrors which matter not to me, but there were many 20-somethings who left with streaky mascara from shedding a tear at the inability to pose and reflect in front of the mirror for 50 minutes.

The instructors podium was increased in size, but the brainiacs reconfigured the bike set up, moving from straight rows to a curved configuration and it is impossible to get from one side of the room to another without scaling the podium. The sound system sucks and our spin taskmasters sound like a hire from the NY subway system.

Yesterday, I woke up spinning, literally. No alcohol was consumed, but the room was flipping. I got my sea legs and made it to one of my favorite instructor’s classes (only 3 are on the list).

Row of Exercise Bikes

For the second time this week, there was a sub and other than the fitness manager, the subs are way, way below sub par.

Yesterday, the music was so bad that I thought I had been committed to solitary confinement in a cell with electronic dance music, featuring vocals by Bjork…the music was so inappropriate for spin.

Listen, I know this is an elective class and it is only 1 hour out of my day, but it is my favorite time and I need to spin in order to handle life’s annoying issues. Spinning is my form of therapy.

Many of the spin masters need to take the music seriously. I think some acquire their certificates and musical compilations from the same company that produces K-tel music packages, featured on, As Seen On TV.

Music is one of the most important elements. If the class sucks you can stick in earplugs, crank the resistance up and power through it, designing your own custom routine, IF the music has got the beat.

I can take the exorbitant monthly fees and buy a great bicycle and ride outdoors…my Los Angeles bike was just stolen.

I am bored with the Entitlementors showing up with coiffed beach/spin hair and makeup in short shorts and exposed sports bras. Smile once in a while, wipe down the bike seats and halt the spread of vaginitis.

I know, I am spinning out of control so I am calling it a wrap and riding off into the sunset.

tri-ing-to-be-athletic_spin

5 Comments

  1. Paula Lopez says:

    LOL

  2. Karen Kushi says:

    Or you can always buy a Peloton bike – pick an instructor you like, take a class anytime you want, work harder than any class you’ve ever taken. I’m addicted. They just opened a storefront at Century City mall (or you can always try mine!).
    No more early wake up bookings, high fees, smelly classes or butt cracks in your line of vision!

    • I thought of you when I wrote my post…I will have to try a Peloton bike. Glad you could get the word out and now I know why I never see you in spin class anymore!

  3. Hi Toby,
    I could not agree with you more. I’ve been out of town but tried that new room a few times and hated it. I actually felt sick following class as it was so hot and the lighting was ridic. All this topped with a fat membership increase. I will give it another shot this Friday and hope to see you there. We can suffer together.
    Best, Cara

  4. That’s funny, before you even mentioned it I was thinking- ooh you should have put on some music and did your own little spin class! I have a spin bike and used to use it a lot. Some days I liked it and some days I was bored out of my mind… Now the repetitive motion aggravates my IT band so I don’t do it!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

*