I am a self-professed foodie.
No surprise there.
I was thinking ahead to my husband’s birthday.
There has been a lot of hoopla surrounding a restaurant owned and operated by a TV chef/personality.
Let’s call the place Fraud.
The rap is you can call the first of each month at precisely 10am PT to book the following month.
Each month features a specific ingredient.
This month you can indulge in rutabaga and cherries.
I foolishly missed the first day of the month and left a sobering, pleading message.
The voice message I received is that, unfortunately, you can never, ever reserve for three people.
So never think about Fraud’s if you are hungry after a threesome.
If you have an offspring, make plans to hire a babysitter.
One benefit is you can leave your mother-in-law at home.
You could plan ahead and procreate just to secure a reservation for four at this hoity toity establishment.
I do believe that if you have a Bieber or Kardashian size posse you will also be denied.
Four is the max.
The chef does release a few tables when his wife ovulates so check on her cycle, but never call before 10am.
A two top is release the day before your desired reservation, but only if Donald Trump has made a derogatory comment about immigrants so check frequently with the NY Times.
Sorry honey…no $150 per person worth of rutabaga and cherries for this year’s birthday.
But for a total of $450 (3×150) you can pop my cherry anytime.
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