The Beverly Hills Babes are at it again.

Our mission and, we chose to accept it, was to find the So Kate Leopard-Print Red Sole Christian Louboutin pump.

The day started with excessive exercise. Courtny did a 10K and I went to an advanced Pilates reformer class. We planned on meeting in the Saks Fifth Avenue shoe department in Beverly Hills at 2pm.

Madison, our adorable Lab and I arrived first and did our due diligence. Madison actually received more attention than the designer shoes.

Courtny followed soon after and made a beeline for THE desired Louboutin.

Shoe saleswoman, Eva, accepted the challenge and journeyed to the massive Saks shoe stockroom to dig through the hundreds of Louboutins…no luck except for one Cinderella sized leopard pump.

Undaunted, we hiked up our Lululemons, retied our brightly colored Nikes and headed to Barneys. I did pause to pay homage and inhale the divine satin and sparkly buckles of the richly colored Manolo flats…I must admit that these shoes really do stir my soul.

We walked the 2 blocks and bypassed a herd of Bev Hills sluts and matrons. Their plastic butts and boobs moved less than their Chanel, Celine and Goyard bags that they were swinging down Wilshire like a bunch of crazy southern church ladies.

The Barney saleswoman looked us up and down and decided we were not worthy and dismissed our inquiry with a wrinkled polyester shrug of her shoulder and waved us off. We couldn’t even find the So Kate shoe on display so we sashayed out of Barney’s and I blew kisses to the inappropriately bigoted bitch.

Last chance at retail therapy success was awaiting us at Neiman Marcus. They have a huge array of Louboutin’s. A cranky gentleman approached us. It was after 4pm and I am sure he had done hand to foot combat with numerous Bev Hills brats.

Courtny was dubious regarding his dedication. He failed as well to produce the cherished slipper, but he really did dig for the Louboutin’s.

We called the local Louboutin store and looked online, but our valiant efforts were in vain. There isn’t a pair of these red soled darlings in the entire United States of America…c’est dommage.

If you happen to come into contact with a 41 1/2 leopard-print Louboutin patent pump, please alert the Devil immediately…reward offered for the apprehension of Kate.