Men Are Pussies…

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Why are men so put off by strong women?

I have historically dealt with many men being in the sports and music industry. Right now, it’s raining men…the contractor, attorney, Co-op Board, the male AARP asshole who watches our Los Angeles residence as if it is a safe house for ISIS terrorist members.

They all prefer to deal with my husband because he is obviously male and a more accepting soul.

Hey, pardon my french, but if you fuck with me over and over I sure as hell am going to push back.

I have spent a career walking a fine line. Women who are successful, aggressive and strong in the workplace are bitches, men are assertive. Let me tell you, men are way more sensitive than women…put your big boy boxers/briefs on and learn how to deal with strong women…pussies.

My contractor is always right, confrontational, repetitive yet I have to dance around him. Yes, he appears to be good at what he does although our renovation is proceeding at a snail’s pace. Check back in 2 months and I will let you know my professional assessment.

Our lawyer doesn’t understand why I want to sue a sociopath for slander because he has viciously spread the most heinous lies about our family because I stood up to him.

I am sick to death of men calling women hysterical. Lame excuse and obvious deflection. I have not often been wrong in my judgment calls. That is not to say that I am always right, but it is rare.

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NY Giant Mark Bavaro vs. SF 49ers

Men can’t stand when women know more about sports. They constantly throw the challenge flag and the replay always finds me on point.

Case in point…I met a NY Giant fan on the street the other day. He challenged my Giants knowledge which is fine. Makes for stimulating conversation and since I am not getting sports discourse at home, I welcome the chatter.

I said that in a 1986 “Monday Night Football” game in San Francisco, Giants tight end Mark Bavaro caught a pass over the middle from Phil Simms and rambled nearly 20 yards with 49ers defenders clinging to him. As many as seven San Francisco players, including Hall of Fame safety Ronnie Lott, took shots at Bavaro before dragging him to the turf. The Giants won 21-17.

December 1st, 1986. I was standing on the sidelines…that was one of the greatest moments of my life. I had Huey Lewis and the News singing the National Anthem to a capacity crowd on national television. All my ABC Sports cronies were working the game.

I was up close and very personal. In fact, after the jubilant win and the inevitable road to our first Super Bowl championship, Lawrence Taylor carried me off the field surrounded by one of the best defenses ever in the NFL (shout-outs to Carson, Banks, Martin, Reasons, Marshall).

The man on the street mockingly challenged my Giants acumen. You don’t challenge baby when it comes to NY Giants facts.

He emphatically insisted, in a male chauvinist mocking manner, that the Giants lost the game. I simmered, but confidantly sauntered home and googled the Monday Night Football game. I was dead right down to the last tiny detail.

He had asked a favor of me and I knew he would email. I graciously granted his wish and made the connection and then cut and pasted the ESPN write up of the 1986 NY Giants vs SF 49ers game and emailed it to him.

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Attention all pussies…I mean men. You should all genuflect at most women’s feet. We are smarter, emotionally stronger, we multi-task, give birth, menstruate which is like have the flu every single damn month, we sweat through menopause, endure Spanx, we usually fly solo while navigating the treacherous waters of dealing with in-laws because most men are pussies when it comes to mommy and their sisters, master homework yet again, we squeeze our feet into high heels which eventually lead to bunions to look sexy. We fear aging because men are so superficial that they prefer smooth visages, a toned bootie and perky tits.

Men, take criticsm like a woman and learn how to compromise and work as efficiently as women while juggling a fulltime job and raising well adjusted children. Appreciate the fabulosity of the woman at your side.

I am fortunate that I again was right in my judgment and my selection process awarded me with an appreciative, loving and wonderfully liberated husband…I wish he knew more about sports, but no one is perfect.

Seriously, a country singer or Taylor Swift needs to come up with new lyrics…stand by your man…screw that. Stand by your woman.

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