Malibu is magical.

Like my life on the road with rock bands, it is a delusional subculture. No real life issues.

The biggest point of possible contention being if Starbucks or the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf will master the foam and have soy milk to meet the demands of the Lululemon wearing, breast enhanced elitists.

We made the 10 minute drive last Sunday morning around 9am before the hordes descended upon the Pacific Coast Highway on a perfect summer day.

We found a convenient parking spot which can be one of the biggest stresses when you enter the Malibu bubble.

We headed to Starbucks for coffee and awaited the opening of Cafe Habana. We alternate between Taverna Tony and Cafe Habana for weekend afternoon delights.

The beach crowd was lining up at Starbucks decked out in their tie dye, Missoni and practically non-existent denim cutoffs. Flowy tops were definitely de rigueur.

Madison stopped traffic and everyone asked if she was a puppy. Truth be told, Madison is 8, but no one believes it so after the tenth challenge I succumbed and bought into her puppyhood…”You are so astute, Madison just turned 2.”

We strolled Malibu Mart, perusing Banana Republic, James Perse, Intermix, Madison, J.Crew, Calypso, Ralph Lauren, AllSaints, Tory Burch and Chrome Hearts.

We navigated the stores and then took a path to the Malibu Farmers Market. We wound through scrub land that had been cultivated and turned into Legacy Park in 2010, an area we had never encountered until Sunday. The Park is dotted with animal sculptures and environmentally friendly plantings.

Created with funding from the City, grants and $2.5 million in private contributions from the Malibu community, the $35 million project transformed 15 acres in the heart of Malibu into a central park.

Legacy Park encompasses one of the most ambitious and innovative stormwater and urban runoff projects in California.

We reached our destination…the Malibu Farmer’s Market. We had skipped the Palisades version earlier in the day. The wares were similar, but the vibe hushed and much less crowded.

Only in Malibu would there be a stall with a doctor administering vitamin injections.

The Malibu Market also has a mini food court with tables set with purple cloths. Jewelry and bag stalls dotted the fringes.

One store in particular peeked my interest. Fresco Towels…Eilat’s Boutique, makes amazing bags, ponchos, pillows out of artistically designed Turkish towels, reputedly the highest quality made.

The items are pricey, but fab and are also sold in Neiman Marcus, Urban Outfitters and other fine retail therapy outlets.

It was close to noon and we headed over to The Malibu Lumber Yard in the Malibu Mart, grabbed our favorite spot at Cafe Habana and settled outside in the shade so Madison could join in on brunch.

We beat the crowds and it was an idyllic, mellow meal. I always order the brown rice bowl with grilled chicken, lettuce, black beans, avocado and roasted corn ($16).

David devoured the delectable salmon burger with pickled onions, avocado and fries ($16).

We went crazy and order champagne and toasted the good life (at least Sunday was!)

We headed to the hardcore center of Malibu Mart and found a bench, read and people watched for hours.

Some women over 50 need to have a denim cut off intervention…not a good look.

Plastic surgery and Celine bags were rampant. Celebrities and their kiddies were in evidence, but I will keep that info close to the cuff.

One 5 year-old named, Mansion (spelling could be more inventive), tore around the playground, harassing the shrubs, dogs and anything in his path. He was armed with a toy garbage pick up stick or otherwise known in kiddom as the ‘Imaginarium Robot Claw’. A $4.99 weapon of mass destruction.

Everything was targeted, especially his mother’s body parts which were painfully grasped and pulled. She  did not even make an attempt to quell the little beast…possibly floating on a heavy dose of Xanax.

5:30 rolled around and we needed to depart the side show.

We left the bubble and headed south. 65 minutes later we arrived home…the ride to Malibu in the morning took a mere 10 minutes.

The bubble had definitely burst…time to embrace reality.

Malibu Country Mart 3835 Cross Creek Road, Malibu, California.