Last Call…

Flew to Los Angeles yesterday.

It was a bumpy experience.

The pilot said that it was going to be a relatively smooth ride, but from the moment we took off to wheels down it was a cozy and snug 6 hour seat belt relationship.

And let us not forget the Frequent Farter member…are these specialized frequent flyers on all flights or am I missing the small type disclaimer when I book flights?

I must give a shout out to American Airlines.

I never fly the airline across the country, but the plane was brand new and they actually served breakfast to the impoverished who only paid $278 one way in coach plus a $79 upgrade to Coach Plus.

3/4’s of the plane was first and business class so maybe they made enough money on the privileged to throw the plebs some love.

Anyway, not to be Debbie Downer, but this is the FIRST time ever in my life that I landed and didn’t call Queen E. to say that I had arrived safely…reality sucks.

We reached out to Lyft and at 9am we had to take the long way through Inglewood to avoid the overwhelming amount of traffic on a weekday morning.

LAX was overrun with people…did we miss the NY Times alert to evacuate southern California…was a ICBM on the way?

Home Sweet Home, unpacked and walked into town to have an LA meal consisting of quinoa, grilled salmon and steamed vegetables.

Your relationship to food is greatly altered once you enter Lululemon, midriff flashing, short shorts territory.

It is intimidation by the cut of the cloth.

We hit Gelson’s on the walk home to gather some organic fruit, fresh cut flowers and just baked bread.

We forgot our environmentally safe grocery bags so we were naturally chastised by the empowered employees at chichi Gelson’s (“You didn’t bring bags?!) who have way more attitude than the Whole Foods hippies.

After rise and shining at 2:30am ET and reliving another morning on the west coast, in desperation, when the sun set over the Pacific Ocean, I turned on Below Deck Mediterranean and quickly fell asleep to the waves of whining from the obnoxious cast…tuning into MSNBC would only incite the onset of angina leading to a sleepless night.

I bid you a lovely day from a humid and precipitation free, cloudless Los Angeles.

For those not in Southern California, please don’t hate me because I am not frizzing and sweating.

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