I deliberated about whether to post a restaurant review in light of sequestered life in Coronaville.

I decided to proceed.

You should feel some temporary sense of joy knowing that MTN is not worthy and you are not missing out on a great dining experience.

I am not a big fan of Venice, California restaurants especially those located on precious, forever trendy Abbot Kinney Boulevard.

A friend told me he had a fabulous meal at MTN which is owned by the people behind Gjelina and Gjusta, two radically hip Venice restaurants.

We made a reservation on a Saturday afternoon because we needed to buy CBD oil for our doggie at Med Men.

MTN was hate at first sight…a casually hip izakaya Japanese restaurant.

The crowd was boho chic, the interior dark and woodsy.

The seasonal menu changes, but ramen with house-made noodles, sashimi and seared meats are standbys, along with unusual California sourced fare all to be washed down with sake, wine or beer.

Our server must have slipped in the kitchen and fallen on a broomstick because the stick up her ass was really wedged in there…she couldn’t pull it out because she was like flicking her long dark locks like every 10 seconds.

It took awhile for her to acknowledge our presence…the two guys at the next table did not suffer the same treatment even though they were quite young and desperately unattractive.

While we waited we wiled away the time listening to the tragically hip music.

David started with Miso Soup. It tasted bitter with the combo of red and white miso ($5).

We jointly kicked the meal off with a salad that was tasty, but a mere pile of uninspired market lettuce with carrot ginger dressing, hemp seed (WTF) and a meager portion of Sichuan radish ($13).

My husband knows I adore Uni so he pushed me to order the wildly overpriced Uni Hand rolls with fresh wasabi, daikon and cucumber. They were expensive and bitter with one piece of Santa Barbara Uni tucked in each roll ($24).

I was foolishly tempted by the Pork Chashu because the hand roll claimed to have burnt ends and I enjoy charred meat, but no truly crispy ends were to be found among the pickled cucumber and fermented chili sauce ($15).

And, regarding the chili sauce which I requested on the side, the darling server said the kitchen does not make ANY changes to ANY dishes. I asked if the chili sauce was added at the end to the roll and of course it was so I politely requested no sauce and her gracious retort was, “NO substitutions!”

I did not request a substitution I just wanted the chili sauce eliminated and she spit out a loud, sloppy, “NO!”

Good thing the Coronavirus had not yet reached a fevered pitch because she definitely sprayed and we were within 6 feet of Ms. ‘Tude.

Our farewell forever selection was the Baked Salmon Oyakodon with miso, ikura, seaweed, dakon, pickled ginger and yuzu ponzu. It was bland, the only highlight being the ikura and rice ($26).

Check, please Sweetie and never to return, thank you very much.

See, being confined isn’t so bad if it saves lives and you did not miss a thing!

MTN 1305 Abbot Kinney Boulevard Venice, California. Open daily 11:30am-4:30pm, Tuesday-Thursday 5:30-11pm, Friday and Saturday 5:30pm-Midnight, Sunday and Monday 5:30-10pm.