Judge-ment Call…

No need to look any further, Aaron Judge.

OK, don’t judge me.

I am already sitting in Judgement of myself…and squirming.

I am making an open appeal to Yankee rookie phenom, Aaron Judge.

Here goes…

Dear Aaron:

Firstly, congratulation on breaking Mark McGwire’s 1987 rookie home run record.

50 looks good on you!

Now to the matter at hand.

My daughter’s birthday is on Saturday and I want to give her the biggest, best present.

You absolutely fit the bill.

You are 6′ 7”, a young, good looking, successful, gifted athlete who loves his parents.

Coincidentally, my gorgeous daughter is young, successful, athletic, knows her sports and until this very moment, loved her parents.

You have a lot in common…she is my MVP and you should be the American League’s MVP this year.

In my family sports is analogous to breathing.

Here’s the game plan…Judgey, when you finish with the playoffs and hopefully, the World Series, reach out.

My maternal instinct is telling me you two would combine to make a major league team.

My daughter is a woman in charge, but being a well known person, it is easier for you to contact us.

This Match.com moment is on me.

My daughter is going to absolutely murder her mother when she reads this post.

Don’t play the field.

I have a fantastic lead off hitter for you.

I rest my case.


Love and kisses,

The Devil


Aaron Judge photo: Kathy Willens, AP


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