I’m Bi…

Stuart Smiley  photo:nydailynews.com
Stuart Smiley photo:nydailynews.com

I live in both Manhattan and Los Angeles. For obvious reasons people label me bicoastal.

I hesitate to lay claim to the bicoastal moniker because it sounds so affected, “Yes, I am bicoastal. I always travel with the nanny. My home is 5,000 square feet. I have a black American Express.”…gag me.

We often take our everyday life for granted. It’s routine, the norm.

While I was in Los Angeles, the east coast suffered through an excruciatingly cold, snowy, long winter. Everyone keeps telling me how lucky I was to have avoided it.

Truth be told, I do not mind the cold. I prefer it to the hot, humid, steamy days of summer in New York for obvious menopausal and hair related reasons. But overall, yes, I am fortunate.

Sometimes you need others to show you the light.

I am always pushing back about Los Angeles.

I am a culture ‘ho. I crave stimulation and love to go, see, do. I am a very curious person. I love to walk and embrace my surroundings.

That is not to say that I don’t adore sitting on the beach with a good book or staying home and just hanging out, but I do love filling my leisure time with interesting activities.

What I dislike is the lack of cultural outlets in LA as well as anytime after 4pm during the week.

Workouts are completed, dog is walked, work obligations are fulfilled and tomorrow’s post is written. Options are reading, preparing dinner or watching TV. Thankfully, April through October I have the Yankees to keep me company.

I especially enjoy my new neighbors in Los Angeles who love to keep their front door open, emitting crying baby sounds from, please do not strike me dead, but the ugliest baby girl I have ever seen. It reminds me of the Seinfeld, “Hamptons” episode when Jerry, Kramer, Elaine and George first gazed upon their friends’ newborn.

The mother, who is probably 4 feet 10 and drives an Escalade which she needs a step ladder to get into, must prepare goat or unidentified farm animals for lunch and dinner because the odors that emanate from her condo are gagworthy.

I guess it is preferable to the Oxycodone addict who lived above me in NYC and caused over $150,000 worth of damage during her overflow maneuvers…(interesting, earlier I stated that I was lucky. Reading this through, not so much!)

But I digress…returning to my point. I bitch about living in Los Angeles, but I do have the best of both worlds.

I can scamper off to NYC and fill each day with excitement and stimulation.


I hereby pledge to curtail my “I hate LA” mantra.

Starting here and now, I am fully committed to setting aside time for my Daily Affirmation with Stuart Smalley…”I am good enough, I’m smart enough and dogone it, I am going to revel in my bicoastal lifestyle.”

Seinfeld nostalgia:

One Comment

  1. Paula Lopez says:

    Remember the NYTs articles on LA being the new New York- it also mentioned that the reason many people can live there is that they work at home and thus avoid the traffic situation. But — the other article was all about the bigger and better Public Transportation s
    System!!!! So eventually there will be less to compare with New York,—- That is-before you run out of water, and sink into the Andrea Fault!
    LOL . Let’s here it for the Bicoasters!!!!

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