Flew to Los Angeles yesterday.

I settled in for the lengthy flight.

Since the Housewives franchise is banned in our home, I thought I would sneak a peek.

I couldn’t even watch one episode because all programming was interrupted by that pathetic press conference, starring Tweety Bird and King Abdullah.

I finally could relate to the man who accidentally became president.

As a mother and a daughter I can identify with Agent Orange’s blame game…mothers are always the scapegoat just like Obama is responsible for anything and everything that has ever gone wrong in America during the past eight years.

I was a captive audience and had to listen to that endless, inarticulate, scattered crap.

Arrived safely and our Lyft driver was a young Jordanian woman…what are the chances.

We stopped for lunch and ate outside in the Palisades on a sunny 79 degree afternoon.

The women were all in workout clothes, wearing very fitted tops with no sports bra because they all had appeared to have had boob jobs.

The skinny bitch next to me had brought her own glass decanter of purified water…oh LaLaLand, how I missed you.

Over organic greens, acai, green glop smoothies and a fair amount of passive aggressive behavior, lunch proved to be a homegrown edition…the Housewives of Pacific Palisades.