The heat is on.

Los Angeles was sweltering yesterday. I literally burned my finger opening the car door.

I live near the beach and the day screamed for AC.

I know people on the east coast are hysterical laughing, but hot, arid 90+ temperatures are not easy. The only advantage is it remains a no frizz zone.

If the truth be told, once your mind and body acclimate to southern California weather you are eligible for pussyhood. Anything below 60 calls for thermal and temperatures above 80 necessitate a call for help. You have the vapors, stay indoors and become immobile.

Sunday, I woke early and rushed out for a walk by the beach with Madison. At 7am it was 75, cloudless and very warm.

We made it back drenched and then the temperature really rose while I watched the NY Giants lose the home opener and their second game in a row…man, was I hot under the collar.

Yesterday, The NY Giants celebrated 90 years as an NFL franchise…it was a lukewarm celebration even with Giant greats, Frank Gifford, Harry Carson  and Lawrence Taylor in attendance.

Things heated up so severely in West Hollywood that the power went off for an extended period of time. My daughter had to meet a client and they watched the Giants game at Barney’s Beanery and all the TV’s imploded…she called for play by play and I told her that she was in a better place…just insert fantasy football schemes and pretend the Giants are winning.

Traffic was chill yesterday, but the beaches were packed and the ocean was filled with waders and swimmers.

There is an Excessive Heat Warning issued by the National Weather Service flashing on the TV. The heat index is expected to reach 110 in the valleys today. I am heading to the center of hell this morning as I have to select tile and granite for my demolition derby of a kitchen…progress, I guess.

Heat plus menopause really makes me feel like a Devilishly scorching hottie…