Ground Control to Major Tom…

Am I sitting in a tin can
Far above the world
Planet Earth is blue
And there’s nothing I can do.

The Bowie song was on a continuous loop in my head Wednesday night on the dark side of Dodger Stadium as I experienced a Coronaville out-of-body experience.

I secured a 6:30pm appointment for my myself and my husband for our first Covid vaccine shot.

After going to the overly complicated website 50 times and with the aid of my daughter who sent me a different portal to enter through, I was victorious.

Life is all about having the right connections.

Our 17 mile drive was to take 1 hour and 10 minutes.

Miraculously, we found our way and was only stopped once to have a red lipstick #2 placed on our windscreen  which  represented  the number of people in  the  car  to  be  vaccinated.

We then took the Mario Andretti zig zag race course for 10 winding minutes only to come to an abrupt halt lasting 2 hours behind an endless line of cars surrounded by multiple lines of hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of parked cars filled with anxious strapped in occupants.

No humans surfaced for 2 hours.

I was finally able to flag down a nurse who was gobsmacked that we had not been checked in or shot up.

After that things heated up.

Nurses with carts moved up and down the lines.

Another person checked you in on the driver’s side.

No identification was requested even though it was heavily stressed on the website and I spent over 2 hours with the utility company attempting to have my address put on my monthly bill…outsourcing is such a bitch.

The nurse was lovely and the shot took literally 4 seconds.

Then we waited 30 minutes to be released.

Recommended CDC wait time to see if you react to the shot or die is 15 minutes, but you are a captive audience.

The frustration stemmed from the feeling of suspended animation….so many cars, tents, yet no outside movement, no visible humans or announcements for 2 long hours.

I packed books, snacks and water.

Even if you wanted to escape you were locked in.

Deep breathing.

But we did receive the first dose.

I was under the impression that they booked your next appointment, but no, you have to do the dance all over again!

A friend went in upstate New York and it took less than an hour, she was rewarded with cookies and a confirmed date for the second dose.

Looks like I will need to blast off and work the system for a second trip around the earth.