Cheers to the traditional steakhouse.

If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to dine inside a time capsule lined with 90,000 pipes and the spirit of Theodore Roosevelt hovering over your T-bone, let me introduce you to Keens Steakhouse.

Tucked away, unassumingly, on West 36th Street, Keens is an unapologetically old-school New York institution, serving up sizzling slabs of beef since 1885.

Originally part of the Lambs Club which was a social hub for actors, writers and the occasional well-dressed scoundrel, Keens became famous not only for its mutton chops, but for its walls lined with clay churchwarden pipes once smoked by the likes of Babe Ruth, Albert Einstein, Buffalo Bill and anyone else who had a flair for meat and mahogany.

I was always keen to dine at Keens. It finally happened.

Dinner was outstanding and the martinis were ice cold and plentiful not your $24 dainty martini glass circa 2025.

The bread was deliciously free, delectably hot and plentiful and the butter stellar.

The crudite plate was chilled and fabulously free, aiding in quelling true hunger.

Now, let’s talk dinner. My dining companion and I opted for the T-bone Steak, a carnivore’s dream that serves up both the bold sirloin and the tender filet in one Flintstonian cut. The steak arrived perfectly charred, a celebration of primal satisfaction. You want sear? Keens delivers a perfect crust ($73).

Sides? Oh, we did sides. A Wedge Salad…two heads of crisp iceberg lettuce with thick-cut bacon and tomatoes dressed with blue cheese because why nibble when you can chomp ($18).

Then came a cast-iron skillet of Field Mushrooms, earthy and rich with fresh cremini and oyster mushrooms sauteed with shallots, garlic, butter, thyme, rosemary and parsley ($18).

The golden Hash Browns were amazing and could double as edible throw pillows. Crunchy outside, soft within, everything a potato should aspire to be ($15).

Staying true to his pescatarian ways my husband went rogue in a steakhouse, swerving off the steak path and chose the 7 oz. Arctic Char filet pan-roasted in olive oil and herbs, served with Sweet Pea Puree and Vegetables Bayaldi and a Roasted Fennel and Tomato Beurre Blanc. It was moist, perfectly flaky and kissed with a touch of citrus. A brave order at a steakhouse? Perhaps. But Keens knows its way around fish, too ($42).

Dessert conjured up all kinds of childhood memories and the fact that Queen E. indulged in a hot fudge sundae every single summer evening and never gained an ounce. The Keens sundae was scrumptious. I could not stop until the dish was spotless ($14).

There’s no mistaking the vibe at Keens. It’s not trendy. It’s timeless. The service is crisp and professional; the lighting soft enough to hide your sins, but bright enough to read the menu.

The crowd is a mix of power players, nostalgic romantics and hungry locals celebrating that this kind of place still exists in the age of QR codes and edible foam.

Keens is where steak meets story. Come for the T-bone, stay for the pipes and don’t forget to toast to the ghosts. You’ll leave with a full stomach, the spirit and the sense that some parts of New York are still deliciously unchanged.

Age should never be taken for granted. The NY Times just included Keens in their Top 100 list of Best NYC restaurants.

Keens Chophouse 72 West 36th Street New York City. Open Monday-Friday 11:45am-10:39pm, Saturday 5-10:30pm, Sunday 5-9:30pm. Reservations on Resy.