I am obsessed.

Peloton just sent me a congratulatory email for taking class every day for one week.

I think my mother ghosts for them because it says “good job now do it for 3 weeks straight”…never enough…the guilt bleeds everywhere.

So here is the scoop.

I, like the rest of the country, am suffering from the Paralyzing Pandemic.

My latest mission is to drive myself which means hike at sunrise, spin during the day and take a Zoom pilates class 3 times weekly.

I was cruising until my daughter sent us an anniversary cake not the size of Agent Orange’s ineffective dick.

Now I hike, spin and pilates to eliminate the frosted treat from my loins.

I am flush with joy over the Charmin cake, but it is wiping out my goals.

Seriously, thank you Courtny for the thoughtful, creative dessert.

I have emailed a photo of my middle age spread where your gift found a cozy place to linger.

Next steps are to step away from the confection then onward up that mountain while continuing to spin out of control.