Who knew that my Peruvian adventures and scaling Machu Picchu would literally render me immobile one month later.

I have been hobbled by gluteus maximus and leg spasms and am finding it virtually impossible to stand erect. Like a teenager with her first boyfriend, I can only go half way.

I apparently need to remember that I am not 20 anymore…really?!

I scaled every Inca ruin in Peru, walked 10 miles daily in NYC, ran on the beach in Tulum and my Quasimodo posture is the end result. At least I have a lovely Tulum tan to show for it, but I can’t get out of bed so who can see how healthy I look while crumbly on the inside.

Yesterday, I headed to the acupuncturist for another treatment. She is amazing. I love the fact that she is a nice Jewish AARP acupuncturist from Brooklyn.

She has a soft touch while inserting needles over my entire body. After 40 minutes of floating away on on a needle induced cloud, we engage in acupressure which I have never experienced. She delicately positions her fingers at the core of the pain and while it feels as if she is mining for gold, she is barely touching me. After a few minutes the pain miraculously dissipates.

Yesterday, the needles went in painlessly except for one that sent an electric current through my body. I delicately inquired, “What the hell was that?!” She gently responded, “Your gall bladder. Do you have a lot of decisions to make?” As I was floating away into my needle induced coma I silently screamed, “Does a bear shit in the woods?”

The toughest challenge is lying still for the allotted time. She leaves a bell by my side in case I cannot meet the challenge. Hell, I scaled Machu Picchu in 85 degree weather with a 102 fever…bring it on.

She does her part of the acupuncture so well that I do drift off…music is playing, the window is open and a light Santa Monica breeze wafts in.

I really do feel the blood flowing as if she put a teeny weeny garden hose inside my veins and the water is gently circulating through.

She removes the needles, applies healing hands and I slide off the table, invigorated, painfree and erect. It’s a miracle…I’m upright. The air is so pure up here.

I left humming, Hit Me with Your Best Shot and she had.