It was a Coffee Meets Bagel hook up.

I was matched with Gloria.

Her profile was appealing…she is geographically desirable, appeared appetizing, enjoys a good cocktail, highly recommended, shuns meat for sustainable seafood.

I was all aquiver when I made the Gloria connection.

Unfortunately, Gloria did not have me at hello.

We were introduced last week and my antennae drooped immediately.

She was diminutive, but very loud and hot to trot.

It was a warm evening and the interior matched the exterior.

The place is small and the tables very close together.

We had a lovely group of women to our left, but a loud, overbearing and boring lot to our right.

The sizable, middle-aged gentleman who spent an hour discussing his long ago college courses, left the table four times, taking the wine glass and vase with him each time…the best offense is a good defense so I kept my hands on the breakables for much of the meal.

The staff was dressed for a day at Coney Island.

Our server was well informed, but overburdened and rushed.

I ordered a pleasant sparking La Boutanche Chenin Blanc ($14).

David’s Hudson Valley Brewery pilsner from nearby Beacon, NY was very good ($8).

Once the adult beverages arrived we ordered fresh oysters that were smooth and tasty. I quite liked the dollop of trout roe placed on each oyster (6/$18 when did oysters get so pricey?!)

The room temperature quartered Scallop dish with sea brean, fennel and green juice was enjoyable, but not outstanding ($17).

My main, GoldenTile Fish, was delicious…meaty and accompanied by asparagus and red wine bernaise ($28).

David ordered the Whole Shrimp with head’s on, hominy and Cortez sauce. The whole shrimp were flavorful, but the red sauce distracted from the dish ($25).

Gloria displayed her assets.

I was surprised that I was not more into Gloria.

After all, Gloria chef, Diego Garcia, was a sous chef at NYC’s Contra and a cook at Le Bernardin for several years…two restaurants that I admire and desire.

Gloria is named for Garcia’s mother. His pescatarian menu is inspired by his upbringing in coastal Mexico and Napa, Calif.

Garcia’s partner, Bill Johnson, was general manager at Contra, as well as a sommelier and front of the house manager at Aldo Sohm Wine Bar, Dovetail and Gwynnett St.

Both have great resumes, but the final result was disappointing.

The sound level and general ambiance was lacking.

Gloria possesses many admirable qualities …it just wasn’t a good match.

One and done.

Gloria 401 W 53rd St, New York City. Open for dinner Tuesday-Thursday 5:30-10pm, Friday and Saturday 5:30-10:30pm, Closed Sunday and Monday. Reservations on OpenTable.com.

*Gloria photo;gloria-nyc.com