The Draft…

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I think I should institute a friendship draft.

I nominate myself as commissioner because this is my post and I can. There is potential for it to turn into a lucrative career.

The commissioner of the NFL, Roger Goodell, makes a fortunate of money. His base salary last year was $3.5 million and he earned a $40 million bonus. I kid you not. He is a good hugger and the NFL is a huge moneymaking business, but he makes twice the amount of the top paid NFL player, quarterback Aaron Rogers and he doesn’t even have to suit up and sacrifice his body.

What a great job. Goodell is able to go to any and every NFL game and sit in the deluxe suites, avoiding interaction with plebeian fans and inclement weather, he has clearly gained some lbs. so he eats well and he gets to embrace all the top draft choices on an annual basis.

NFL Commissioner, Roger Goodell, Hugged By 2014 #2 Draft Choice, Greg Robinson
NFL Commissioner, Roger Goodell, Hugged By 2014 #2 Draft Choice, Greg Robinson

Embraceable me…I could totally get into bear hugging  the huge, muscular potential afternoon idols of the gridiron.

But, I digress. In my initially uncompensated position as commissioner, I would institute a draft which would comprise of a selection of people I would like in my life. I would bring them in and test their sense of humor, intelligence, athletic ability, sense of style, shopping endurance, sports passion and acumen, political views, desire to make this a better world and restaurant  knowledge.

I think there is a real need nowadays for a friendship draft. We are all transient, living far from family, childhood and college friends. It is very difficult to meet interesting, compatible people.

If I could hold a personal trait combine, similar to the NFL combine where you are grouped together by skill positions and judged and ranked on ability to work well with others, be empathetic, outgoing, just an all around good person and great friend material, then you can enter the draft.

It would consist of only 1 round of top 20 candidates. There is attrition so ultimately, I would select 6-8 good friends. That way, you can rotate them in and out of the friendship game. Not everyone likes to try new restaurants or travel, attend sporting events, shop.

Let’s be realistic, there are ups and downs with the best of friends so the rotation system side steps confrontations and holding grudges which female friends have mastered the art of. So you would have your starters in each category and no one would become bored with your rants or passion pleas.

With friends, someone always goes on IR (injured reserve and pulls out of the game) so you would never have to fly solo because friends frequently pull out of plans at the last minute…a better option surfaced (guy called, my husband is now available), “I don’t feel well”, “I’m depressed”, “I feel bloated”, “I have nothing to wear.”

Additionally, the mantra of  “Do I look fat”, “My boss is an ass wipe” “My husband is driving me nuts” “My kids are acting out” would not fall on the same ears repeatedly. No matter how much you enjoy a friend, repetition can drive a wedge between you.

On a scale of 1-10, I would rank their ability to be an asset on my team. Draft choices can filibuster, but many times my choices are non-negotiable. Someone that looks good on paper, like a Johnny Manziel (Johnny Football who was a projected a top pick, did not go until the end of the 1st round)) may not be a great pick for the everyday wear and tear of friendship.

The goal would be to have the most diverse, interesting posse…people who would blend together well to make a winning, vital, high level, superbly functioning team.

Until I can get the logistics worked out I will have to live vicariously through the annual NFL draft which has turned into a 3 day extravaganza with Day 1 being a red carpet moment, introducing the top 32 college prospects who venture to NYC with family and friends.

I was on red alert for the NY Giants first round pick at #12 last Thursday. A bit surprising, the Giants chose a receiver. From all indications, Odell Beckham, Jr. (Beckham is a winning sports moniker) out of LSU, is a highly touted prospect and a potentially amazing compliment to the other Giant great receiver, salsa king, Victor Cruz.

Eli Manning Sacked  Photo/redbull.com
Eli Manning Sacked Photo/redbull.com

My only concern is that the Giants  quarterback, Eli Manning, never had time to throw the ball last year because his offensive line (the huge, beefy men that protected Eli in the pocket) sucked. So, I was hoping for a seemingly invincible wall of protection so Eli could actually have time to throw the ball this season. Eli was sacked (thrown down like a sack of potatoes) 29 times last year. Thus, a 7-9 win/lose season…not good.

I could go on and on and analyze the entire draft and all of the NY Giants picks, but I would lose my audience.

Well, I have tackled the NFL draft now I need to spend some quality time figuring out a metric for drafting some quality friends…and thank you in advance for being a friend.

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Potential Friends Draftees In Anticipation Of My Draft

2 Comments

  1. Paula Lopez says:

    I loved it!

  2. Sandy Ackerman says:

    Perfect idea….hope I am in the running!!

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