Dog Day Afternoon…

berkeleyReality sucks.

If you have been following the travails with my 13 year-old doggie, Berkeley, you know that she has an inoperable tumor in her liver. We have been through a lot, but she, thankfully, exhibits a very positive attitude and no apparent pain.

She still enjoys hikes and has quite an appetite. She is undoubtedly, the smartest, best friend I have ever had.

Recently, she started biting her paws and yesterday we took her to an animal dermatologist…the doctor dropped a bomb. The paw biting is due to her liver condition and the future looks even more tenuous.

After 3 years of Berkeley being on the verge of death and than dramatically rallying, one would think that I would put on my big girl pants and face the reality of the situation, but when Dr. Kirby shared her diagnosis, the tears welled up in my eyes and my heart broke.

Dealing with losing a loved one is just so damn difficult. So what do I do when confronted with an onerous reality…go shopping, specifically, food shopping.

The doctor said Berkeley should consume additional protein and switch to puppie food. I hit up the pet store and then scurried over to Whole Foods and bought her cage free eggs, cheese, veggies, and Vitamin E.

Her mid-morning snack is an omelette and I have other treats on hand to fatten her up and keep Berkeley eager to eat.

whole foods

Whole Foods in Santa Monica is a trip…it is where privilege people shop and what a ‘tude. They are more frenetic than brides to be at the half off wedding sale at Kleinfelds.

The housekeepers and 4 carat minimum engagement ring wearing women, with Gucci fanny packs and Chanel wallets tossed into their carts,  take entitlement to new heights.

I love the scene at the salad bar when they bump your cart and reach over you for the kale and quinoa…one woman actually told me she was late for her tennis date so she was just going to move in and quickly take what she wanted…manners be damned.

Whole Foods Salad Bar
Whole Foods Salad Bar

An anomaly is when they graze over the salad bar. A man with a Panerai watch and Ferragamo suede driving shoes was stuffing kale and dolmas into his mouth and licking hummus off his fingers without a salad container…seriously.

At the fish counter, my favorite fish guy was being reamed because the bitch asked for 1 pound of wild salmon and the piece she had pointed to was ¼ lb. over….really. She made him trim it. Maybe her Goyard bag was a fake and she did not have enough money for the additional 4 ounces.

Sidebar…there is an amazing shoemaker in Beverly Hills who is know for creating protective red soles on Louboutin’s and he told me that they repair many fake Goyards…again, really.

Yesterday, the woman in front of me with all the accoutrements of the rich and famous (and she was both…a bona fide TV star) whipped out 5 one hundred dollar bills and asked for very specific change for each $100 bill.

I finally asked her if she was confused…”This is Whole Foods, not Chase Bank.” She told me to talk to the hand as she was on her way to Santa Monica farmer’s market and needed change…that’s a boatload of fruits and vegetables.

The bakery rep was being screamed at when I headed to the elevator because they were sold out of Vegan chocolate chip cookies.

The universe must have been out of joint because Whole Foods had a whole lot of screaming going on.

The parking lot was insane because the privileged class is not used to driving themselves so backing up appeared to be very challenging.

The excursion was ridiculously hilarious and time consuming…I was anxious to get home to Berkeley and deal with real problems.

 

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