Dancing With The Stars…


I am coming out of the closet. I am exposing myself as a Dancing With The Stars fan.

I love dance and admire the desperation of D list celebs so when it debuted in the summer of 2005, I thought, “Why the hell not?!” It trumps (I would never watch Trump do anything) most of the crap on network TV. I love tacky sequin outfits, spray tans and extensions.

During the 17 seasons, it has been fun to see senior, uncoordinated folk inspire the voting public and hang around for weeks on end while talented young’uns are booted for lack of votes. I actually voted when my cousin, Ian Ziering, was a participant…gotta give the love to the family.

Carrie Ann Inaba, Len Goodman, Bruno Tonioli
Carrie Ann Inaba, Len Goodman, Bruno Tonioli/Photo ABC

Monday night I tuned in for the debut of the new season. Bruno Tonioli was trending in a white dinner jacket, Carrie Ann Inaba went a hair shade darker and had a new, Veronica Lake sweep and Len Goodman was just Len.

Erin Andrews Hawking TruBiotics
Erin Andrews Hawking TruBiotics

Erin Andrews is the new co-host and I had to control my urge to bend her over and shove the probiotics she is always promoting up her ass. Although, Samantha Harris and Brooke Burke-hyphen fake boobs were no better. I have a feeling that Erin’s gowns won’t be as Ru Paul as the other brunette talking heads.

I was so disappointed that the “stars” this season can actually dance, Billy Dee Williams and swimmer, Diana Nyad notwithstanding. The pure joy was always watching a majority of overweight, uncoordinated people attempt to dance.

Cheryl Burke and Tom DeLay
Cheryl Burke and Tom DeLayPhoto ABC

The show is similar to the HG Channel makeover shows. By the end of the season, we can see bodies reshaped and some people can actually dance, except for Kim Kardashian and Tom DeLay. DeLay withdrew from the show. Too bad, he didn’t withdraw from Congress years earlier.

I enjoy a good makeover. Some of the finalists invigorate their careers and make Sharknado, host Fashion Police and star in made for TV movies.

I went to the show 2 years ago and it was a gas to see the cameraman run at full speed all over the ballroom with a camera strapped to his chest in order to capture every angle. The extensive repair and restoration to the talent was impressive.

I tend to root for the athletes. I love the former models…they can master a runway, but they are usually inept on the dance floor…even a perfect figure can’t buy you coordinated dance moves.

Derek and Amy Purdy
Derek and Amy Purdy/Photo ABC

This season I am torn. I was blown away by Amy Purdy, the double-amputee snowboarding champ who is teamed with Derek Hough, the five-time Mirror Ball champion.

At the age of 19, Purdy contracted bacterial meningitis. The disease affected her circulatory system and both legs had to be amputated below the knee and her spleen had to be removed.

She just won a bronze medal at the Paralympics in Sochi, Russia. Amy makes you believe you are capable of achieving anything. No more complaining about being less than impressive in any of my physical activities.

Meryl David and Charlie White Photo/Parade
Meryl David and Charlie White Photo/Parade

Olympic Ice Dancing gold medalist Meryl Davis and handsome fan favorite and bad boy, Maksim Chmerkovskiy, danced the Cha Cha Cha and she was perfection. Her skating partner, Charlie White, performed a graceful contemporary dance with Sharna Burgess who was stuck with Andy Dick and Keyshawn Johnson (a former athlete with absolutely no rhythm) in past seasons. I look forward to Meryl and Charlie battling it out on the dance floor.

Dancing With The Stars is a harmless, guilty pleasure. I plan on tangoing my way through Season 18.

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