Last weekend I spent indulging in retail therapy.

I madly purchased designer products.

Unfortunately, gobs of money was spent on top of the line drains, faucets, pipes and toilets.

In the past, I have only ever been intimate with a toilet for obvious reasons. I did have a long standing, personal relationship when I had morning sickness everyday for six months, but other than that a toilet is what it is.

I leaned last Saturday that Toto is not just a homely rock band from the late 70’s and 80’s or the dog in Wizard of Oz…it is a top of the line toilet. I was to-to-ly ignorant.

I felt in love with the Dry Bar model of a totally indulgent toilet. It fluffs, dry, massages, closes on command and all this for the insane price of $5000. I guess I will continue to personally take care of all my ablutions.

I did not know about the plethora of latest options for bathroom use until I strolled through the hallowed halls of Snyder Diamond…the Tom Ford of progressive, design-forward kitchen and home products.

Did you realize that there are waterfalls designed for the bathroom? I thought that was the purpose of a shower. A showerhead for $1000 so that you can mimic the rainforest. I would rather visit Costa Rica.

Stand alone bathtubs for $12,000. I prefer daily sojourns to a spa and have someone do me.

Home improvement is out of control. I still prefer a lovely Chanel bag for the price of a toilet or a fabulous trip for the price of a refrigerator that makes sparkling water.

If you can’t wear it or experience it up close and personal, it just doesn’t incite excitement or do it for me.