Breakfast Baloney…


Who knew that a lovely beachfront cafe could serve as an Evangelical recruitment center.

All I wanted was a breakfast of bacon and eggs…perhaps some well done breakfast potatoes.

Instead, I was served up a side order of baloney.

The preacher, who was sitting at the table next to me with his 4 kids and clueless wife, strolled up to three seniors and told them they looked great on this sunny day, inquired as to their breakfast selections, family status and where they hailed from.

The sermon on the sand went on and on with the dicey right wing messenger of God employing his outside voice.

I turned to my husband and said this guy has to be a religious zealot recruiting innocent folk.

Before you could say, coffee refill please, the older gent was asking if the church was political.

”Oh no. We are God loving evangelicals who just want to love all of God’s children. If Mother Teresa and Adolf Hitler walked down the street together God’s light would shine on them equally.”

I swear to a higher power that is exactly what this used car salesman said!

My food started to come up and I was ready to hurl.

I turned around as the fraud was standing right behind me and sweetly said, “I did not order Hitler as a side dish. Please step away from me as I am here for a pleasant Sunday breakfast and not a trump rally.”

He hiked up his sackcloth worn with Michael Jordan basketball sneakers and white tube socks,  straightened his crown of thorns and retreated back to his meal of bean stew, lamb, olives, bitter herbs, a fish sauce, unleavened bread, dates and aromatized wine, coincidentally the exact same meal allegedly served at the Last Supper.

Finally, thank you, Jesus, Moses and the entire tribe, we achieved a morning of rest and fulfillment.

Photo:Think Classical

One Comment

  1. Love this.

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