Black And Blue…

black and blue

Is there a black cloud hanging over my head?

These past few months I just feel as if I cannot have a complete day without more shit being shoveled in my path forward.

Saturday started off well at 5am.

Beyond catching my thumb in the fitted sheet and crying out in pain…oh, I forgot to mention that I torn ligaments in my left hand, tripping over the construction in my money pit. I am a southpaw (left handed) which has made daily duties difficult.

I am in an unstylin’ black brace.

We arrived to a very serene LAX and now that we have Global Entry, security took 10 seconds…literally.

We headed to Starbucks.

David just happened to ask if the bagels or pastries were fresh.

No, they are yesterdays finest which amazed me.

Couldn’t they just fly bagels in on any plane from anywhere and always be supplied with fresh baked goods?!

I need to stop micromanaging.

For the first time in forever, I had an empty row. David was asleep since he sat down and I  reveled in the fact that I had an entire row.

Virgin America
Virgin America

I settled in and the TV was broken. No problem. I moved into the middle seat and stretched out.

Wow, fabulosity…first class for the price of coach.

5 minutes later an uptight woman in a Gucci skull cap just plopped down in MY aisle seat (no excuse me, may I sit here) that I paid $30 extra for.

Excuse me, bitch. What’s up with that?

She said her seat did not recline.

I asked her to hold on and take the window seat since the aisle is what I upgraded to and my husband was across the aisle.

She moved in, messed with the armrest that I was using because my TV was broken, shut the shade and that’s that.

Can she spell Entitlement?

Two minutes later the pilot puts on the seatbelt sign and the plane literally starts tilting to the left and shaking.

My husband was in never-never land and I was alone to battle the turbulence.

The woman in the next aisle up and across started freaking. She was crying and buried her head in the TV screen while her husband tried to quell her hysteria.

Can’t she suffer silently like me?

She was causing immense anguish and I had no one to distract me.

I internalized for the next 30 minutes and drew blood from my one functioning hand.

Blue skies…I am happy to report we landed 40 minutes early and the rest of the flight was turbulence free.

Of course, I needed a Depends to complete the trip.

Sunset in Central Park

We arrived at our upper west side abode without encountering much traffic and no road turbulence.

The day was perfect…mid-40’s, blue skies, cool and crisp.

We hit the ground running, scurried through Central Park, aglow in oranges, yellows and reds.

We headed to Barney’s and took in the dazzling holiday windows designed by esteemed director, Baz Luhrmann…a potpourri of brilliant entertainment with a dancing ice skater, an acrobat and intricate robots.


Next stop, 5th Avenue. A new twist of jeweled decorations at the usually conservative Tiffany’s, ice skating frenzy at Rockefeller Center, enhanced by the Cornell University Marching Band.

Cornell University Marching Band

The momentary black cloud had faded to black and the future looks bright, especially after a bottle of red from St. Emilion served to us by our favorite bartender at Landmarc.

We skipped home happy and fulfilled.

Rockefeller Skating Rink
Rockefeller Skating Rink


This will get you in an Empire State Of Mind, featuring Jay Z and Alicia Keys:

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