OMG, there is like a LIKE crisis in the like good ole like U like S like A…like what are we going to like do?

I might be the first person ever charged with a drive by LIKE shooting…weapons of choice, a grammar stick and a sledge hammer to like pound the word LIKE out of people’s like consciousness.

Case in point, the other night I was sitting next to 3 young women and in 2:20, the length of a pop song, I recorded 63 likes…I requested relocation in the restaurant.

During the US Open, a 20 something’s locker was above mine. I bent down to pick up an item that tumbled from my locker. In the time it took for this middle-age, but extremely agile body to retrieve the article of clothing, the like offender said like, describing her like failed encounter like with a guy who like worked in field like ops, like 18 times.

At 8am, feeling weary and already sweaty, I popped up and elegantly stated, “Will you please speak the English language correctly. You said the word like 18 times in less than 1 minute.”

Stunned silence and then the locker room erupted in applause….my like mission had begun!

It has reached epidemic proportions. On the street, in TV interviews, elevators, restaurants, all public arenas…not to be casting aspersions, but I will, it’s the 20 something’s and under who are the major offenders. Are we destined to have a LIKE future? Will it invade presidential press conferences and newscaster lingo? I like hope not.

Please, take up the cause and try your darnedest to stamp out the constant and grammatically incorrect usage of LIKE from our vocabulary.

Like, I mean, thank you.

**The definition of like as a verb: to enjoy, get pleasure from…which I do not when used incorrectly.