Selfie Realization…


I was all atwitter.

Over the weekend, my daughter, Courtny and I channeled the Kardashians and hiked the two miles from home to learn about selfies at the Realization Center.

OMG, (toss hair), when we arrived we were so bummed to find out that it was a Self-Realization Center for Meditation.


Like we were so totally letdown because we like, in like all modesty, know that we are soo awesome and truly like don’t need to meditate because our inner self is like as beautiful as our outer shallow self.

We decided to suck it up and stay, absorbing the scenic beauty and serenity of the like spiritual sanctuary.

Walking the lake site, we whispered our disappointment at not learning all the ins and outs on how to take perfect selfies and then self-publish a mother/daughter selfie book.

Like we are so close and like to like do a whole bunch of the same things like shop and eat in restaurants and hang at make up counters (we adore MAC and Charlotte Tilbury) and talk about ourselves to each other, do our mascara while driving and look in the mirror whenever we can sneak a peek.

We thought we could help other mothers and daughters who could like benefit since everyone always asks us the secret to our like awesome relationship.

That would be passing it forward as well as amazing charity work on our part and would look so cool on a resume.

We like never fight and like share accessories and don’t charge each other for the use of Chanel bags and really cool jewelry and Louboutin and Manolos.

We like wore matching Lululemon outfits to the center and looked like really great for the intended selfies to sadly discover it is all about self-realization.

Not to waste a good hair day, after we recognized the mistake, we were like such good sports and meditated on things that are HUGE in our busy, meaningful lives.

Our like first meditation priority was inwardly focusing on Saturday night’s NY Giants preseason game against their cross town nemesis, the NY Jets.

Even though the game doesn’t count it is like so stressful for us because the Giants are like so BIG in our lives.

We meditated and did deep breathing  for like a whole 5 minutes.

Restored, we quietly discussed focusing the next meditation on our elaborate dinner plans for that night at a very trendy new LA restaurant that has paparazzi swarming around to take photos.

Is a side pony appropriate or should we get a blowout at Dry Bar?

What to wear?

Dress, jumpsuit or jeans with Louboutins…like it was so stressful picking what to internalize about next.

We psychically held hands and simultaneously repeated our mantra…retail therapy…over and over again to the whispering breeze.

It totally calmed us down.

Exhausted from all the self-introspection and meditation we crossed the road to Starbucks and practiced taking selfies of each other drinking our non-fat, extra foam, triple shot, dry caps.

It was quite a challenging morning and we still had to like hike home.

We departed devoid of selfie insights, but we were cleansed, emotionally centered and we like still looked fabulous.

Namaste, bitches.

Self-Realization Lake Shrine
Self-Realization Lake Shrine

One Comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *