My daughter is my filter.

I am still loopy from my new meds.

That’s my excuse for not taking responsibility for saying dumb stuff.

Saturday, we were committed to going to Costco…we had not been in ages.

I looked everywhere for my Costco membership card. I finally found it in an unrelated location…what was I thinking.

Meds again.

One crisis averted.

The next challenge was locating my American Express card since Costco is monogamous.

Nothing doing.

As we were leaving my daughter lovingly queried, “How the f..k could you misplace your AmEx?!”

Tearfully I replied, “You don’t know how challenging it is to live in two places!”

Courtny looked at me dumbfounded. We simultaneously broke into  hysterical laughter.

Could I be any more  pretentious?!

I seriously didn’t mean it that way.

We enjoyed a good chuckle.

I wasn’t laughing $600 later.

All I had to show for my Costco expedition was an overabundance of toilet paper, paper towels, Clorox wipes, sunscreen, unripened mango and Bulleit Bourbon.

After that shopping expenditure, loading and unloading the car and finding storage for several miles of paper goods, I definitely needed a bourbon…neat!