Victory is ours.

I am happy to announce that I brought a cabal of middle-aged men to their knees and it felt so good.

Here’s the back story.

My mom’s home in Florida has a steep outdoor staircase.

The Association at the private community and country club in Palm Beach County refused my request to install an outdoor chairlift.

To add insult to injury, the Board rejected me twice.

Say what?!

The rumor mill whispered that it was all about ascetics.

The Board wanted me to install a hideous outdoor elevator for $36,000, maintain it and buy an expensive insurance policy.

My mother probably wouldn’t live long enough to pay it off.

No one puts baby in a corner.

I came out swinging and contacted the Palm Beach Housing Authority and filed a complaint against the Association stating that they were making my mother a virtual prisoner in her own home.

She was at the point that she would only leave home once a day and we literally had to pull her up the stairs by the seat of her pants.

It was a nightmare both emotionally and physically.

Being a publicist and never one to take injustice sitting down, I decided to contact a consume affairs reporter at the local Palm Beach TV station to inquire about  a full blown expose.

The battle plan was set and we were ready to roll.

I made a last ditch pilgrimage to Florida and gave the Board one last shot.

We fillerbusted over coffee and they committed to holding a special meeting to revisit the situation.

Yet again, I wrote up a detailed synopsis regarding my request for a chairlift.

My mother is 95, has to scale a steep staircase and has full blown emphysema…get the picture?

Coincidentally, the complaint arrived from the Palm Beach Department of Housing the same time as the special Board meeting was being held.

The verdict was handed down.

We were victorious.

Queen E is now riding in style, zipping up and down the staircase in her deluxe Stannah Siena 600 outdoor stairlift.

Rumor has it that her amazing aide, Mahalia, has ridden the rails a few times, as well so you don’t have to experience limited mobility to enjoy the comforts of the Stannah 600.

Heather has an array of equipment and a posse of expert electricians and installers…she is quite a woman.

I am encouraging her to run for governor of Florida.

She gets things accomplished, cuts through red tape and Heather definitely has the senior vote which could sweep her right into the Govenor’s mansion without help from hanging Chads or tainted politicians.

My mom is one happy stairlifter although I must confess one problem did arise since Eunice pimped her ride.

She recently phoned the company and told them to mosey on over to her place ASAP because she feels the chair moves too slowly.

“I have doctors to meet, errands to run and people to greet. Please, I need to get places faster!”

And a satisfied Queen E glides off into the Florida sunset on her Stannah Siena Stairlift.

All’s right with the world.