Stop Yankee’ing Me Around…

wallpapers-new-york-yankees-logo-1024x768I never set my alarm to wake up early to go to the gym or for work related issues…I set my alarm lately for midnight so I can check in on the Yankees who are on a west coast trip.

I keep telling myself to cease and desist because the results will only give me  nightmares or stop me from falling back to sleep.

Saturday night, I set my alarm for 12 am. I wanted to be chirper and upbeat for Father’s Day, but I was also hoping that Hiroki Kuroda would find his mojo in the bowels of the Oakland Coliseum.

Not going to happen. He found a power outage that last 38 minutes and destroyed his ability to pitch.

It’s amazing what occurs at the Oakland Coliseum…power outages, overflowing toilets, garbage stench and yet the inmates don’t riot. The A’s are always in the running to win their division and the fans accept the harsh conditions.

The aging Coliseum, which is shared with the NFL’s Oakland Raiders and is the only stadium in the country still home to teams from both leagues, has had multiple plumbing problems the past two years.

The A’s have been wanting to move to a new ballpark. Believe it or not, the team is  in the process of negotiating a new lease at the Coliseum, which opened in 1966, though it’s unclear what, if any, facility upgrades will be included in the potential deal.

Orange Is The New Black at A's and Raider Games...San Quentin Prisoners Look Just like A's and Raider Fans
Orange Is The New Black at A’s and Raider Games…San Quentin Prisoners Look Just like A’s and Raider Fans

When I was living in San Francisco, I used to attend Raider and A’s games when the NY Giants and NY Yankees visited and you took your life into your hands.

It seems as if all the fans at baseball and football games are on a work release program from San Quentin. As a child, Courtny, was too afraid to wear her Giants or Yankee t-shirt as the inmates, I mean fans, even threatened small children…how sportsmanlike.

Conditions never improve and the ill will and foul words are only directed towards Giants and Yankee fans, never ownership…but I digress.

I keep threatening to cancel my DirecTV MLB subscription in Los Angeles because, like a lousy lover, the Yankees keep jilting me this season.

When I am drained and ready to cut ties, they have a winning streak, all the senior citizens get healthy and no matter what it is happening, this season is the captain’s swan song…how can I live without Derek Jeter?

As Scarlett O’Hara stated in, Gone with The Wind, “I can’t think about that right now. If I do, I’ll go crazy. I’ll think about that tomorrow.”

Derek Jeter's Butt
Derek Jeter’s Butt

And anyone not interested in baseball and not a Yankees fan, Derek Jeter has the best butt in baseball…so there is something for everyone.

I have never seen the Yankees in recent decades make so many fielding eras. Half the starting rotation is gone and Alfonso Soriano can’t hit the broad side of a barn…but, then, our Savior, Masahiro Tanaka, steps in every 5th day to restore hope and joy.

Masahiro Tenaka
Masahiro Tanaka

Like Christian Louboutin shoes or a Chanel bag, the price tag is high, but the benefits and joy from having these things on your team, outweighs the cost. (Tanaka signed for 7 years $155 million…A $4700 Chanel Jumbo bag doesn’t look so expensive now, does it?!)

Chanel Jumbo Double Flap Caviar Bag
Chanel Jumbo Double Flap Caviar Bag

Ellsbury will go on a 14 game hitting streak, David Phelps will pitch a great game, Yangervis Solarte will steal some thunder and add much needed excitement and you think, “Love is in the air. My Yankees will pull it together.”

Starting tomorrow, we have 15 straight games with AL East division teams (12 out of the 15 are home games)…I will reserve judgment on whether to break up or keep the relationship going in approximately two weeks.

In the interim, GO YANKEES and welcome back to a more conducive time zone.

One Comment

  1. Paula Lopez says:

    Lol, really well written, couldn’t care less about the Yankees, but being a New Yorker, I have some love.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *