Let’s Get Ready To Rumble…

A-Hole Parking
Footnote: I just returned from spin class and I am pissed. In light of today’s blog, I sat next to a bikini wearing (inappropriate for her body and age) Equinox member who spent the ENTIRE spin class texting on her iphone!! Talk about Entitlement, yes, capital E! She left her dirty towels and failed to wipe her bike seat (disgusting in light of her apparel). If she were more present, she would have noticed that her plastic surgeon did a terrible job on her rhinoplasty.

“Let’s get ready to rumble!” In this corner we have the obnoxious, self-involved, it’s all about me, Entitlement posse and in the opposite corner we have the insidious, pompous, I would rather die than be honest, unmotivated Realtor team. My new fantasy is to arrange a no-holds-barred boxing match…the Entitlementors vs. the Realtors…a battle to the death. Last one standing has to clean public toilets for an indefinite period of time.


Seriously, I go to Equinox daily and walk the streets of Santa Monica and NYC more than the average prostitute. People just don’t care about anyone, but themselves. Herewith, a few examples to bolster the motivation for a knockdown bout….the Santa Monica Equinox gym is on 3 levels and one must take the stairs to attend class. Not a day goes by where the workout bikini wearing biatches don’t slither slowly  up the stairs, phone stuck in their face, texting, stalling all upward movement. They never hold the door for anyone because no one else matters. If you dare to be polite and hold the door for them, your thoughtfulness is reciprocated with a collagen frown. They place their Pilate mats inches from yours because no one else matters. They answer their cell phones during class (my fav is the quacking duck ringtone), arriving late, leaving early, interrupting the Zen mood in their self-indulgent wake. One woman arrives late to spin class every day and then has the audacity to perch on top of the spin instructors’ bike platform and change into her spin shoes after the class has already started. This pervasive subculture angers me and makes me sweat even more. Why aren’t the instructors empowered to give the offenders a polite verbal spanky?!

The Entitlementors drive the wrong way down one way alleys and then curse you out when you query them about almost hitting you in a wrong way drive by. They tailgate at 80mph (while talking on cell, not using a hands free device) even though the lanes to either side of you are clear. They walk anywhere they want on the sidewalk. They let their dogs pee in elevators and don’t clean up after them, they leave a daily pile of dog poop in the exact spot it was deposited even though there are poop bags hanging inches away. The petrified stool samples are on display until Mother Nature performs her disappearing act. They smoke in” No Smoking” areas and especially in Manhattan leave their butts by your door and use residential street level AC units and window ledges as their personal coffee break areas, leaving the Starbucks, truck cups and food wrappers for residents to depose of.

With few exceptions, realtors are a sub species of Entitlementors. You do all the work and they get the commission. They usually don’t return calls, perform client specific property searches, preview homes before recommending them, never stick to your emphatic, absolutely final bottom line price, exaggerate and are rarely honest and are similar in manners to a bad waiter…they only smile when you are calculating the tip (or commission).

Considerate people should organize the no-holds-barred match, sell tax deductible tickets and use the proceeds to establish an Entitlement Halfway House. Pre-screened polite counselors hold group manners sessions, no cellphones allowed and proper dress code enforced. The committed must smile at least once daily, utilize the archaic language of civilized people which include words such as, “please” and “thank you”. These are mandatory passwords or the charged offenders forfeit the right to Botox injections or the ability to ingest expensive pressed juice drinks and protein shakes.

Vent completed. Thank you for allowing me to share and please, have a great day!


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