Thankfully, my dating days are over. To be completely immodest, I always had dates, boyfriends and multiple marriage proposals. I suspect that this came about because marriage wasn’t on my bucket list. I was never overly enamored with any man to even consider marriage. The scent of this women was single. I spent zero time imagining my day at Kleinfeld’s or my dream wedding. My feeling is that lack of desperation and “where is this relationship going” chatter attracted the opposite sex. I was outgoing, friendly and accessible without being needy. I never considered cohabitating until I met David and cupid’s arrow hit its target. David was heading toward the altar with a women he had been in a relationship with for 7 years. When it’s right, it’s right.

David’s proposal was the following, “Toby, it is time to shit or get off the pot (insert the accent into the thought process!). I did not want to lose him so I negotiated a yearlong engagement so that I could adapt. I hate being fenced in…a white picket fence surrounding a suburban home was never in my dreams…my dreams were always about ripped men in Giants uniforms on a wide open field.

If my marriage ever went up in flames or the unthinkable happened, I cannot imagine marrying again. I adore men and my best friends have always been males, but I would never make it official again.

Just about every woman I know between the ages of 20 and 93 are having a tough time meeting a great guy. By great guy, I mean someone smart, presentable (without a gut hanging over his beltline and an ‘-all-about-me’ attitude), a sense of humor, employed and the ability to breath without an assist from an oxygen tank or walker.

I meet so many attractive, smart, successful women who represent every decade and nothing is going on socially for single women. They all hate online dating for the obvious reasons being that the men never look like their photos, actually detest long walks on the beach and are lying when they say they are open to any wonderful women without ageism being involved. Seriously! Every man I know over 40 wants to date my daughter or her friends. What is it with middle-aged men and younger women? There is too much of an age gap as many under 30 don’t even know who the Rolling Stones are, have land lines or remember when a Nissan was a Datsun. Conversely, what do under 30’s want with older guys besides their money? There are too many issues in a real relationship that money can’t cure.

So what is the problem and how can we solve it?

One of my helpful hints is if you meet a guy who has potential, just call him, damn it. Men are socially awkward and hate rejection and are more insecure than most women. What’s the worst that can happen…he says, no thank you and you eat a pint of Ben and Jerry’s…spin the next day and it is out of your system.

Become sports savvy. I provided my daughter with a comprehensive sports education from birth. When I quizzed her on spelling words and state capitols, I also threw in, “what is a fullback’s roll on offense, when is bunting appropriate, defense wins championships no matter the sport and utilize the drop shot in tennis.. Sports is the greatest equalizer at work between the sexes and a great icebreaker when verbally engaging in conversation with a cute guy at a bar (sporting events are always on TV at bars)…just point at the screen and start referencing…you get the picture.

Now, women of all ages, get out there, make a call, exercise your sports acumen and mingle if you are single!

Toby’s Tasty Tacos

1 lb. sole, tilapia, or cod
2 eggs beaten
1 cup Japanese style Panko breadcrumbs (traditional breadcrumbs are fine)
kosher salt
fresh ground pepper
1 bag broccoli slaw or cabbage
2 teaspoons vegetable oil
2 teaspoons water
2 teaspoons pickle juice
1 tablespoon mayonnaise
Sweet Mixed Bread and Butter pickles
1 sweet onion
1 just ripe avocado
Tandoori Naan Imported Authentic Indian Bread (Trader Joe’s in the frozen food section)flour tortillas are also fab or a toasted roll!

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Dredge fish fillet in beaten egg then roll fillet in panko crumbs. Saute on both sides until golden brown. Place in Pyrex dish that has been PAM’d. Set aside until 20 minutes before plating. Place in preheated oven and heat until sizzling for 20 minutes.
To prepare cole slaw, dump slaw into large mixing bowl. Add water, pickle juice, vegetable oil and mayo, salt, pepper. Mix well and refrigerated for several hours before serving.
Saute 1 onion in PAM, salt, pepper until golden brown. Slice avocado and use amount at your own discretion (usually 4 slices each serving). Slic pickles in thirds. Heat Nam bread in 350 oven for approximately 5 minutes on both sides.
Layer the tacos. Start with the bread, slaw (drained), fish, avocado, onions, sprinkle piclkes around.

Taco a bite…it’s delish!